Blades Talk (1/2)

      Amand-r (deparsons@EARTHLINK.NET)
      Fri, 2 Aug 2002 13:48:11 -0400

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      Disclaimer:  I do not own any of the characters from Highlander: The Series.
      They all belong to Davis/Panzer.  I just be chillin'.
      
      This is a lyric wheel story.  The challenge was to write the story
      in the city where you live. Thanks for the lyrics, Sarah/Loves to
      Write.  They are "Let Me Touch You for A While".  I would have written
      a love story, but I just don't do those.  It's a matter of principle.
      I am a woman of principles, and I don't mean Victoria.
      
      Blades Talk
      By Amand-r
      
      In the vaguest of senses the rest of your life will never seem as confusing
      as these moments.  Some old joke used to say that when things couldn't be
      going any worse, then is when the shit really hits the fan.  I don't own any
      fans.  But I do know a proverb when I hear one.  Most of them aren't as old
      as I am, but for some mystic reason, that doesn't ever make them any less
      true.
      
      I hate cities.  I know it always seems as if I live in the city all the
      time, but there's only one reason I do live in a metropolitan area.  Many
      could make guesses; perhaps it's because it's easier to divert a challenge
      that way.  It's easier to get lost.  It's even a good place to get beer.
      They're all wrong.  There's only one reason, and that can be summed up in
      two words:
      
      Pizza delivery.
      
      You laugh, but really, the invention of the pizza available in 30 minutes or
      less for less than ten dollars is possibly the most revolutionary invention
      I have seen since, well, beer.  And that was a long time ago.
      
      It was pizza delivery that got me into this mess, as it were, flying into a
      crappy city whose only virtue is the only reason I need to get there as soon
      as possible.
      
      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
      
      Mac lets me stay on the barge sometimes when he's not there.  In lieu of
      charging me rent, I get to stay there if and only if I promise not to (a)
      break anything (b) sell anything for any reason (c) change his CDs (d) have
      any lady friends over (e) have raucous parties a la Fellini's Satyricon.
      
      There are more than these, really, and they're on the fridge with a little
      magnet affixing them there so that I see them every time I go for a beer or
      leftover sushi.  I could argue that I have yet to break any of them.
      
      For example, Heather was not a lady but a rather comely pizza delivery girl,
      and in fact I never really learned her last name despite knowing her
      biblically, so one could hardly say we were friends.  I could also argue
      that I didn't exactly sell that replication vase because I had no advance
      way of knowing that she would take that instead of the 50 francs that I had
      given her earlier, so it's not as if it's actually *sold*, per se.  The
      mirror was broken, but it was a six hundred year old Venetian handmade
      mirror (crafted specifically for the Borgia woman, if I am correct), and so
      that's hardly *anything*.
      
      Perhaps that was too much information.  In any case, by the time I found out
      that Heather had taken off with said vase, I had already broken the mirror
      in a fit of blind groping and tangling sheets.  Later, as I ran down the
      street with my sword, clad in nothing but a sheet and a pair of leopard
      underwear (not mine-don't ask), I was suddenly taken aback with the idea
      that I was well, naked, and armed.  And in a crowded square with lots of
      people.
      
      Okay, I know you want to know if I was drunk.  The answer is emphatically
      yes.  Three sheets to the wind, tied to the mast and pulling the vessel all
      the way to the Americas.  Call me the Nina, the Pinta, and the fucking Santa
      Maria.
      
      The cops didn't call me that when they gave chase.  A little thing I have
      learned is that even though the city is a great place to lose challengers,
      it is not a good place to go to lose the cops.  They know the city better
      than you do.  In reality, I was running down the back street in an attempt
      to find a place to ditch the sword.
      
      Go ahead.  Laugh.
      
      It was fatal humor that made me dump it in a huge garbage canister.  It was
      complete and utter irony that after I had spent three hours in the precinct
      house, explaining how my "girlfriend" (whose last name or address I
      embarrassingly didn't know, which prompted the second lie that I had short
      term memory loss, which also doubled for the feeble excuse to cover for the
      reason that I have no current address.) had stolen a very valuable artifact
      belonging to a friend or mine.  It was however, possibly one of the worst
      moments of my life when I made it back to the dumpster to realize that it
      had been emptied by the city workers in a preciously rare moment of unheard
      timeliness, seeing as how the last time the workers weren't on strike and
      actually did their jobs was during the German occupation.  And even then I
      am sure it was because they had an armed escort.
      
      And so, the search for a new sword has left me on a globe trotting goose
      chase.  I should have known that Sean LoCacchio would come to this place.
      And since he never sets foot on a plane, hasn't since he got to the States
      in the late eighteenth century, it's a matter of going to him.
      
      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
      
      PITTSBURGH:
      
      Sean is probably the best sword maker in the Immortal world.  Hell, he's
      probably the best sword maker in the mortal world right now, unless you want
      one of those "faggy ass Jap swords", as Sean calls them.  Since I like my
      blades with two edges (double the pleasure, double the fun), I go to Sean.
      
      The Ivanhoe I had last was not something that I had picked up ages ago and
      kept because of sentimental value.  I kept it because it was a damn good
      sword.  When exploring the Paris dump was not successful in discovering its
      whereabouts, I gave up on it, because in my opinion, the less time one
      spends without a sword *at all*, the better.  If it turns up later, I might
      be interested in getting it back, but right now, fond memories don't keep
      one alive.
      
      Sean lives in Pittsburgh, the city of steel.  Or it used to be the city of
      steel.  All but one of the mills are closed down now, but trust Sean to be
      working in that last bastion.  I suppose that it makes it easier for him to
      forge blades.  I know that he still sells them on the side, though I have no
      idea who his clientele is.  Immortals, no doubt, but one has to wonder just
      how he manages to keep his head while dealing with so many of our kind.  Not
      everyone is like Mac, as any given week in the Scotsman's presence will
      show.  Rather violently.
      
      I drive by the mill, a destitute huddle of buildings still spewing toxins
      even at this late hour.  I know that the furnace rarely shuts off.  Edgar
      Thompson is located in the middle of what was probably once a very popular
      part of town, but what is now a slum, a ghetto.  The faces that walk down
      the street are desperately trying to look satisfied, but fail, knowing that
      somewhere, something failed them.  I count the bars as I speed out of he
      area: eight in a ten-block radius.
      
      Sean lives somewhere else, I am sure.  He may prefer the work of the mill,
      but he likes the feel of silk sheets.  He also likes pools and Maseratis.
      
      The bar he has chosen is a little thing, by the name of Charley's in the
      next borough over.  It is nondescript and dim, just the way I like it.  I
      dressed for nondescript: old jeans, sneakers, beat up t-shirt.  I let my
      eyes adjust to the light in the room (or lack thereof), hoping that the
      presence I feel is Sean and not some other person.  The way my luck is
      running lately, it would be another Morgan, hell bent on my blood for
      something I don't even remember.  I mean, I don't even remember most of the
      early seventies.  But it's Sean, because I hear him holler "Ey, Adam!" and a
      large arm down at the end of the bar waves.
      
      Sean is missing a tooth, the right front one.  He told me once that a
      stubborn gelding had kicked it out when he was just a boy.  When he grins,
      he is all teeth and that gap, a very trusting look, complemented by a cap of
      straw colored hair that is short on the top and long in the back.  He rather
      looks very dull witted, in a Lenny from "Of Mice and Men" kind of way.
      
      "Hey," I say as I plop down next to him on one of the over-used stools, its
      padding long pressed down to nothing.  The drinker on the other side of me
      belches and tells the bartender to please put on the hockey game, though not
      in such a polite fashion.  I'm acutely nervous.  I've been without a sword
      for three days, and I don't like the feel of it.
      
      I edge closer to Sean and mutter under my breath, "What the hell do they
      drink here?"  Sean chuckles and orders me an Iron City.  The first taste
      reminds me of every little backwater piss ale I've ever tasted.  This
      produces another chuckle.
      
      "You need to relax, Adam."  One cornflower blue eye winks at me, and I know
      he thinks my current situation is hysterical.  He actually dropped the phone
      when I had been forced to explain to him how I had lost the Ivanhoe.
      
      "You relax when you're in my position, "I mumble into my beer head, "then
      get back to me."  The TV screeches as Lemieux scores, and the bar crowd
      echoes it.  The man next to me orders a shot of Yaggermeister, slamming the
      flat of his hand down and demanding "a hat trick".
      
      Have I mentioned that I hate sports bars?  I mentally run through everything
      I've been through in this city that I have encountered so far: non-gridded
      city plans, tunnels desperately in need of repair, construction detours,
      driving a Volvo in a run down area, and lastly, local pubs with a sticky bar
      and a TV over it, a TV whose channels can only be changed with a pair of
      pliers.
      
      The only thing worth checking out would be the Liberty Avenue gay bars that
      I saw on Showtime's "Queer As Folk".  Surprise, surprise, I saw Liberty
      Avenue: no bars, just lots of hookers and XXX Girls Girls Girls hangouts.
      Color me disappointed.
      
      But Sean is happy here, amidst the beer nut bowls and empty cans of Rolling
      Rock, the local sports playing on that degraded TV.  His eyes scan the
      crowd, the few mill workers on the opposite end of the bar, and some thirty
      something women with Penguins jerseys who are trying to get the frightfully
      old jukebox to work.  Even the bartender looks ragged.  Maybe it's the
      hairstyle.  Mullets do not flatter any man.
      
      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
      
      "I don't know what you see in this city," I mumble as Sean speeds his pickup
      truck down the Tri-Boro at a pace that cannot be normal, but which Sean
      assures me is common.  I gesture to the neon signs long gone dead and
      hollowed out churches gone silent, bells waiting to teased into announcing
      morning mass.
      
      Sean chuckles, and when I look over at him, I am unsure if he has had one
      too many.  "Adam," he drawls, "you don't see the big picture."  His hand
      leaves the steering wheel in a circular motion, and the truck swerves onto
      Braddock Avenue.  I know that we are returning to the mill, and part of me
      doesn't want to see it.
      
      I have been to Sheffeld lately.  All those steel mills are closed, and
      everyone is put of work, and it's not a romantic situation, no matter what
      The Full Monty told anyone in the theatres.  I don't want to see any more
      ghettos.
      
      Instead, I close my eyes and press my head to the gritty window.  "What is
      the big picture?" I ask.
      
      Sean's voice is rough, like the dirt on the outside of the window, like this
      town. "Steel is something special.  These people have it in their veins."
      He sighs.  "When I was a boy, my father taught me to fold the steel to make
      things.  But they were always small things, you know?"  His voice is
      wistful.  I glance over to look at him, finally, this larger than life man
      who still molds things with his bare hands.  How long has it been since I
      can say I did that?
      
      
      Amand-r/MethosMuseUnion#666/Super Evil Methos Clone:
      
      Aku.  Soku.  Zan
      
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