UNTIL THE END OF TIME: An Elena Duran/Corazon Negro Story 3/4 By Vi Moreau vmoreau@directvinternet.com and Julio César divad72@prodigy.net.mx ======== The next morning When Corazón Negro arrived, the Mother Superior left him in her office-then "she" came inside. Curi-Rayen. He wasn't prepared to see her like this. There she was, on Holy Ground, trying to rediscover the meaning of her life; trying to forget the pain of her Immortality. Even broken as she looked, much too thin in the long white habit, her hands almost like claws, her high cheekbones standing out on her face-her face! -the woman he had loved still remained inside the cruel charade in front him, deep under the scars of time. But that wasn't the worst. Even though he had known, he hadn't imagined, couldn't have imagined-her beautiful face was marked forever. Dear God! Where once a gorgeous gray eye had shone was a black patch. He stood in silence, closing his eyes. If only he could go out and find some kind of evil being, some poor bastard who had wasted the gift of sight the gods had given him! If only he could put a new eye inside her empty eye socket! If only her Immortal blood could cause such a miracle, to nourish a new eye for herself! If only he could give her one of his own eyes! If only he had stayed with her, could stay with her now, protecting her against any danger! If only.! Nothing mattered. He had made his choice. The Spiral had circled, and all he could see before him were broken promises and forgotten vows. "Curi-Rayen?" he dared to say. She walked toward him, her face a mask made of rock, her remaining eye shining like fire. Then her left hand flew toward his face with fury. Once, twice, thrice, she slapped his face from left to right and vice versa. He felt his nose start to bleed. He knew he deserved it. He deserved her hate. If only she could pass him her pain along with her attack. He knew he could die for her right on this spot if only he could spare her any more pain! She stopped herself and tried to read his eyes. Then, with a sob, she closed her fist and struck him with all her might, rocking him on his feet and breaking his nose. His face was on fire, and he tasted his own blood. Still he remained impassive, serene. In the entire world, Curi-Rayen was the only person who could attack him like this and remain alive. She backhanded him, putting her hips behind the blow, and he stumbled, almost falling, but brought his head up for anything else she might want to do. For a long moment she stared at him. Time did not exist between them. There was no past and no future; just the moment called present. She sobbed again, then let out an agonized cry, pressing her face against his chest and crying like a small child, holding onto his shirt like a drowning woman, wetting it with her salty tears. He put his arms around her as the blood from his face dripped onto her hair. He held her tightly, trying to steal her pain. It was useless, and Corazón Negro, too, started to cry. "You left me! You left me!" she said over and over in a pain-filled voice. "How could you? How could you leave me?" He wanted to explain; he wanted to make her understand. But how could he indeed-sometimes he didn't understand it himself! "Forgive me," he whispered in her ear. "Please, my love. Forget me!" She moved away and looked up at him. "Your 'love'! How can I forgive you? How can I-you and Duncan, both of you, the men I have loved with all my heart, have conspired to destroy me! How could I forget what we had?' She pushed him away in disgust. "Coward!" she hissed. Corazón Negro lowered his head in shame. She was right. He had abandoned her twenty years ago. Maybe he was a coward as she had said. "We were supposed to be together always!" she spat at him with hate. "But you left me!" Wiping her teary eye on her sleeve, she snuffled. "You simply walked away from me!" "I know I did," he said softly. "But I thought that-" "Thought what?" she interrupted him. "That you could come here and give me a sad look and everything would be all right? Or did you just want to come and see for yourself what I've become?" A strange spark shone in Corazón Negro's eyes. "I see my coming here was a mistake. I won't bother you anymore," he said, turning toward the office door. "So that's it! You're just walking out again?!" Corazón Negro stopped, sighed, and turned back to her. "I didn't come to hurt you," he said softly. "Then why?" She paused, and he could see her trying to collect herself, trying to understand. He walked toward her. "I came to tell you that I love you still, always. And to say goodbye." Her eye narrowed with suspicion. "What do you mean? You said goodbye to me twenty years ago! Where were you all this time? Many times I thought you were dead! I wept for you, mourned you, because I was sure you couldn't possibly have just walked away from me. You said you loved me. You said you would stay with me always, protecting me. But when I needed you were gone!" He nodded. If only he could make her understand. Licking dry lips, he put his hands inside his coat pockets. "It's hard to explain." Completely calm now, she said, "Talk to me, Corazón Negro." But instead of explaining, he chose to tell her what he'd come to say. "My time has come," he stated sadly. She moved closer to him again, then whispered. "Lilitu." "Yes. Lilitu. All this time I've been preparing; now I'm finally ready to fight against her one last time." "I see," Elena said, angry again. "You are still chasing *her*. She might as well be your lover! That's why I couldn't stay with you anymore; I couldn't spend my life hunting, always chasing her. Even our Immortal lives don't last forever..." "I know. But someone had to do it," he said, staring deeply into her gaze. Elena smiled bitterly. "Why you? Why not Zarach?" she said, fairly spitting out the ancient Immortal's name. "He's been hunting her for millennia." "It's not so simple," Corazón Negro admitted. "The Ancient Gathering is ready." "The 'Ancient' what?" she interrupted him. "The Ancient Gathering," he began, trying to find the right words. "The elders among our kind. The survivors of the original Gathering. The strongest ones who have survived the charade called the Game." Elena was shaking her head in disbelief. "Ancient Immortals? Older than the legend? Older than the one who's called Methos?" Corazón Negro nodded. "Any one of them is at least twice Methos' age." Curi-Rayen moved away from him, putting the desk between them. "So you were with ancient Immortals, trying to save the world!" Elena said sarcastically. "Well, guess what? I liked you better when you were interested in individuals, in human beings; when you didn't spend your time with 'ancient ones', removed from everybody." She paused, raising her arms in a questioning gesture. "If they're so powerful, why do they need you?" "I'm trying to explain it to you-" She didn't wait. "Do you want to be a god? Is that it? Shall I bow down and worship you?" "Curi-Rayen-" "I've known an ancient Immortal or two, and they care about people. They're not Galahad; they're more like Gawaine, flawed but human." Her anger was spent-all she had left was sarcasm. "After all these years, you have the cojones to come here and give me this crap!?" "Listen, please," Corazón Negro tried to say. "Shut up, cabrón!" she yelled at him, breathing hard. "You listen to me: there was an Immortal, an ancient Immortal who visited me here because he cared about me when I was so badly hurt, and he had no excuses, no great causes-he just came because he loved me. That's all. And that's what I need." Corazón Negro sighed again. "And I came because I love you still, even if you don't believe me." "Do you truly know what love means?" Shaking her head, she came back to stand in front of him. "You men are all the same. You only speak about love when it's convenient for you!" She walked away again, her fist clenched, and he could see the blood dripping out of her hands where her fingernails had dug in. "Every man I've ever loved has left me, abandoned me. Every one has betrayed me, one way or another." Corazón Negro lowered his gaze. "Do not blame yourself, my love. I know what you mean." Her father, the first man she'd ever loved, had abandoned her by dying-even though he'd been an Immortal. She had also told him about her husband, Gordon Powell, how he had done nothing while their baby died; about Panchito, who had gotten himself knifed after being married to her for only seventeen days. And now he knew she was talking about Duncan, who had killed their Immortal son. "Your failures are mine." She turned back, walking toward him, putting her face in his. He could feel her breath on his face, and he couldn't smell her usual perfume, only the odor of animals and sweat. "I hate you," she said. Corazón Negro closed his eyes, letting the pain reach inside his soul. He had expected her anger, but that expectation didn't make it any easier for him. "Tell me, Curi-Rayen, when did you lose your grace? Have so many deaths totally destroyed you? Is this the better way? Is this the strength Don Alvaro taught you?" Elena's only eye turned red. "Don't you dare speak about my father!" she said between clenched teeth. "I wonder what he would say if he saw you like this. Is this the courage he taught you? Is this the answer to your troubles?" "I'm warning you," Elena hissed. "You're on Holy Ground, the perfect place to recover yourself, to recover your faith. It's been what, six years? Why do you hate me, Curi-Rayen?" He stepped closer, his gaze proud again. No more pain; no more sadness. Just one warrior facing another. "You know the answer to that." "Do I? The Curi-Rayen I knew was a loving woman. She was strong. She was alive." "I'm alive!" she yelled. "I think, I breathe!" Corazón Negro put his face as close to hers as he could. "And you're angry! It feels good, doesn't it? It makes you feel alive!" he exclaimed. "So, since we are both still alive, why we don't resolve this mess?" She blinked, then asked, calmly, "What do you propose?" Corazón Negro relaxed a little. "I came here to see you one last time. After all we've been through, I think I deserve a little of your time." He watched for her reaction, and when she remained frozen, he added, "The choice is yours." She stepped back, nodding softly almost to herself. He could see she was trying to understand and to control her emotions. Elena closed her eye and breathed deeply, as she always did to calm herself. After a moment she opened her eye again. "Very well. Please tell me why you removed yourself from everybody." Corazón Negro nodded, understanding her feelings very well. "There was a time when I believed that we Immortals were walking on a world in which old beliefs and ignorant superstitions were fading away, never to return. Once I thought that the old religions based on violence were over. I used to think man was aware of the true evil: hunger, cold, war, ignorance." She listened carefully to his words in silence. Encouraged, Corazón Negro continued. "Once I believed all those things. But then I unlearned what I've learned, and all those thoughts were banished. My beliefs disappeared inside my Dream." He sighed in pain. "I went off to be alone, to learn, to understand. I left you because I loved you too much to condemn you to walk with me." "That was not your choice to make-it was mine," Curi-Rayen said calmly but distinctly. "It was your choice too. Don't you remember? You abandoned me as well." Curi-Rayen's single eye opened wide. For twenty years she'd been avoiding those memories, those so-terrible days. And now they were in front of her, suddenly emerging from deep inside her soul. Fragments of thoughts she had tried to sink under the mantle of time resurfaced with just one blink. ======== Mexico City, Mexico April 1988 She is lying beside him, beside her love, beside Corazón Negro. She is happy like never before in her life. But under her apparent calm, she is dreaming. A woman's warm voice is speaking to her inside her dream. "You must let him go," the voice whispers. "He is a Dreamer, a Dancer. He's hearing the call of the Wolf. He is changing; his time is close at hand. He's Dreaming. Soon, Lilitu will arise to commit the ultimate taboo. And when this happens, Corazón Negro will take his rightful place against her. He is going to Dream about the Spiral of Time, and fight to keep the world the same. For you. For all your loved ones." "I cannot let him go," she whispers back. "I love him." "And he loves you with all his soul, with every single cell of his being. But the needs of the many are more important that the needs of the few." Elena doesn't know what to say to that. "I." she begins, feeling and odd sensation running through her soul. "Your Mapuche blood knows the truth," the woman's voice continues. "You can feel the power of my words." "So," Elena says, her voice laced with pain, "Are you taking him away from me?" "Yes. Corazón Negro is a child of the Power. You never wanted anything to do with the Power. You have your own responsibility; you must keep your love for him, deep inside your soul, until he returns to you." "But what about Corazón Negro? What if he dies?" "I will take care of him. I've been taking care for him an eternity." And then, she appears in front Elena. Shining like the snow on the mountains, dressed in a soft white robe, with white feathers in her hair and intricate golden chains around her neck, her ankles and her wrists, she walks on a cloud towards Elena. "You're her," Elena says, knowing whom she's facing. The native woman smiles. "Yes; I am what you are, and what you are not. We are the same, and we are not. I'm New Moon, Corazón Negro's first wife." Elena spends the time speaking with New Moon inside her Dream. They talk about love and suffering, and Elena wonders if there is anything else in the world. But in the end she understands that Corazón Negro must go. He is a warrior born of and for the Power. He is the fighter of the world. The stories New Moon tells her just further convince Elena that indeed this is the moment. "Why?" Elena finally asks? "Why did you let me love him? It hurts me so much to let him go! Why did you choose me?" Receiving no answer, she lowers her gaze, repeating, "It hurts so much." "I know how you feel," New Moon says. "I, too, had to let him go. I'm sorry," she whispers. "Maybe one day you will understand." "Maybe I understand already," Elena answers. "Go, take him with you. Make him Dream so he can save the world." "He loves you, and he always will. You have given him the strength to Dream. He had to know your love, and he had to be willing to let everything go for you. You gave him the greatest gift of this world." "I'll wait for him. No matter how long it takes." New Moon smiles one more time. "I know you will. Take care of him for me, sister. Love him as I loved him. And now, come; it's a long road back." "No matter how long it takes," Elena whispers.