Alexa (1/1)

      Athers (Rachel.Trench@BLUEYONDER.CO.UK)
      Fri, 5 Oct 2001 22:35:31 +0100

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      Alexa - Part 1 of 1
      For disclaimers see part 0
      ***************************************************************************
      Alexa
      
      She stared at him while he slept, trying to drink in every detail of his
      face, his chest, his stomach, his arms, his hands...every detail of what
      made him the man he was. Trying to imprint the image on her memory forever.
      She knew their time together was almost over, and yet...somehow it didn't
      make her as sad as thoughts of the end had once done.
      
      You came into my life,
      Like a new and brighter light,
      And made all my past seem in shadows...
      
      The last eight months had been wonderful. No - better than that: magical.
      That's what they had been. He had taken her all over the world, starting
      with her own vast country. He made sure that she saw all the traditional
      sights - the Grand Canyon, the Statue of Liberty, Carlsbad Caverns, the keys
      and everglades of Florida, Disneyland - but he had also made sure to show
      her things that were less obvious. New Orleans had been a revelation - the
      Mardi Gras and all its colours, sights, sounds and smells had been
      overwhelming, but he had found them a little jazz club where the music was
      smoky and the drinks were good... She didn't think she had ever had so much
      fun.
      
      The days before you came,
      Were really all the same,
      A greyness I used to call freedom...
      
      Europe, too, had been fascinating - it was here that he was really in his
      element. It was almost like she was sharing a trip with a walking
      encyclopaedia, so obscure was some of the historical information he told
      her. Yet on the couple of occasions she had doubted him and had checked with
      either the local tourist office or the Encyclopaedia Britannica (they had
      been in Scotland at the time and that was, according to the librarian, the
      best book to look in) he was always right.
      
      "Eidetic memory," he had explained at the time. "I read something once and
      it's stuck in here," and he had tapped the side of his head, "for life."
      
      That day in Scotland had been two months ago. She felt a pang of regret -
      two months ago, she had been walking almost as far as he could. Now she was
      barely making it across the room and back. She knew her face was haggard and
      pale from the constant bouts of sickness - but he still called her
      beautiful. He loved her.
      
      And the time that it took to take down the wall,
      Was the time that it took for me to fall,
      Hopelessly weak,
      
      Now, near the end, she realised that she did love him back, but it had taken
      eight months for him to break the walls she had erected around her heart the
      second she had heard the news. She realised now, when it was almost too
      late, the mistake she had made. The disease was going to take her body, but
      she had let it take her life too. But for this wonderful man who had come
      into her life purely by chance, she would probably still be in Seacouver, in
      the hospice with no-one but the staff to mourn her passing. She would have
      died a lonely, young woman. He hadn't let her, and with gentle coercion, the
      walls around her heart had crumbled, but she was now too weak to do more
      than tell him her feelings.
      
      She smiled faintly. She didn't need to tell him - although she would -
      because he already knew. She had seen it in his eyes as he had held her on
      the Santorini beach where they had watched the sun rise only yesterday. He
      had seen the change in her heart before she had. The smile turned warmer -
      his perceptiveness was one of her favourite traits. He always knew when she
      was reaching her limits; she never had to ask him to slow down, or tell him
      that she couldn't manage that flight of stairs. He always knew and he never
      made a fuss over it.
      
      I don't care what they think,
      You're all I believe in
      
      Her aunt, her one remaining relative, had called her all kinds of things
      when she had heard about this trip.
      
      "You're *dying*!" the aunt had exclaimed. "What do you want to go
      gallivanting off to Europe for? You should stay here and save your
      strength."
      
      "Because staying here and saving my strength isn't going to make me live any
      longer," she had retorted.
      
      "But you hardly *know* the man," her aunt had continued.
      
      "I don't care," she replied. "I believe in him, Joe trusts him and...to not
      go..." She had sighed. "The alternative is unthinkable. I'll send you lots
      of postcards...but I have to go."
      
      The aunt had blustered on for several days afterwards, but she was adamant,
      and sitting here now, in the Greek villa that belonged to a friend of his,
      she knew she didn't regret the decision.
      
      Her gaze wandered the room before settling back on the sleeping man beside
      her. No - she didn't regret one second of it. Reaching out, she gently
      tapped him on the shoulder. He came awake instantly and for a second there
      was an expression of panic in his eyes.
      
      "You know that question you asked me on Santorini," she began, and snickered
      softly as she saw the panic evaporate from his eyes. He nodded. "The
      answer's yes."
      
      There was a brief moment, while her words sank in, then his smile lit up the
      room.
      
      ***
      
      They were married the following day in a picturesque little chapel with a
      couple of his work colleagues (who had been on an archaeological dig just
      north of Athens) to stand as witnesses. It was a simple service for a simple
      affair - and she had loved every second of it, her only regret was that her
      parents hadn't lived to see it. She thought she ought to regret the fact
      that she wouldn't live long enough to truly enjoy married life - but somehow
      she couldn't drum up that regret. She knew that whatever time she had left,
      she would enjoy it to the full, knowing that no-one could take him away from
      her now.
      
      ***
      
      Death had been quick, once the final stage of the disease had set in. That
      was the only mercy as far as he could see. He wanted to rage against the
      world and the fates for taking her from him so soon. He might have known
      this would happen, but that made the end no less of a shock.
      
      "Excuse me, Monsieur Pierson?"
      
      Glancing round, he saw one of the bevy of faceless medical staff who had
      presided over her last few days on earth. Try as he might, he couldn't
      recall whether the man was a doctor or a nurse, never mind what his name
      was, so he settled for just raising his eyebrow and waiting.
      
      "Madam Pierson gave me this to give to you when she died," he explained,
      proffering a small package.
      
      Puzzled, he took it and opened it. Inside, he found a cassette labelled only
      with 'Play me' written in her beautiful, flowing handwriting. He patted the
      many pockets in his trench coat until he located the one that contained his
      Walkman. Finding it, he put the new tape in, pulled on the headphones and
      listened as the first notes of a song came on. He recognised it as being a
      favourite of hers, one she had sung or hummed on occasion, but he had never
      seen why. Now, in that sterile hospital corridor, the words hit him,
      understanding came, and finally the tears fell. This was how she had felt
      about him but had never been able to tell him.
      
      She had loved him.
      
      ~Fin~
      
      No One Can - Marillion
      
      You landed in my life
      Like a new and brighter light
      That made all my past seem in the shadow
      I always used to believe
      That beauty was skin deep
      But I need a new word to describe you
      And the time that it took to take down the wall
      Was the time that it took for me to fall
      Hopelessly weak
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't worry if they take me away
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't matter how long we have to wait
      
      The days before you came
      Were really all the same
      A greyness I used to call freedom
      Endless nights out with the boys
      The boasting and the noise
      To think that I ever believed them
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't worry if they take me away
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't matter how long we have to wait
      
      I don't care what they think
      You're all I believe in
      I carry you here
      And there's something of you
      In everything that I love
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't worry if they take me away
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't matter how long we have to wait
      
      No one can take you away from me now
      Don't worry if they take me away
      
      --------

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