Chapter Twenty-one Sitting alone in the loft brooding, stung by Dawson's words, Duncan thought about what Joe had said. Maybe he was right. Maybe, he had jumped to the wrong conclusions too fast. It wasn't the first time he had let his mistrust of the Watchers in general, color his decisions about Joe Dawson the man. Joe was the one remaining thread that had made up the fabric of his life over the past few years. Tessa, Richie, Charlie, Connor, even Methos and Amanda. They were all gone now in one way or another. He didn't want to lose his friendship too, he valued it too highly. There were too few people in his life he could truly trust and feel close to. Why would he lie. It was possible he didn't know about the cabin, Caitlin hadn't. Leaning forward, he studied the chessboard on the large, low table before him and moved a few chess pieces around as he thought about Joe. Too restless to concentrate, he rose and paced around the room. Straightening a picture here, adjusting a chair there. Finally admitting to himself that he knew what he had to do, he grabbed his jacket off the gnarled looking coat rack by the elevator and headed for Joe's bar. A local blues band was in the middle of a set when he walked into the smoked filled club and looked for Joe behind the bar. Finding Mike, his assistant there instead, he scanned the packed barroom and spotted Dawson just entering his office in the back. Forcing his way through the crowd, he knocked sharply on the door and kÖý“ed. "Yeah, what is it!" Joe had to shouted through the door. Unsure of his was welcome, Duncan was just about to reach for the door knob, when Joe jerked open the door. Surprised to find the Duncan standing there, Joe hesitated before slowly stepping aside and waiting for him to enter. "What do you want MacLeod, I thought we said all there was to say the other night." He said, as he wearily sat down in the black leather chair behind his desk. Knowing Joe wasn't going to make it easy for him, Duncan looked around the cluttered office as he gathered his thoughts, before taking a seat across from Joe's desk. Edging forward, he looked at his friend, noticing for the first time how much grayer his hair had become since they'd first met. Duncan remembered when Amanda had reminded him once before how fragile mortals were after another quarrel they'd had. How many times did he have to learn that lesson "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now but, I couldn't leave things the way they were between us. After all the things that happened in Europe, I promised myself I wouldn't allow the people I cared about to be hurt anymore because of me. I should have added or by me. I'm sorry Joseph," he said simply, solemnly. "You've always been a loyal friend to me over the years and once again I've caused a rift between us by being a self-centered, paranoid fool and doubting you. I value your friendship too much and I don't want to lose it." Joe wasn't about to let MacLeod waltz in here and think he could just turn on the charm and he'd forgive him. "We've been over this too many times before MacLeod. You say that now, but the next time you get it your head that I've crossed you in some way, we'll be at each other's throats again." "No, Joe, not anymore. I promise. I've lost too many people I care about lately and I'm asking you to forgive me and continue to be my friend. You may not need my friendship Joe, but, I- need yours." Joe was so stunned and moved to hear MacLeod actually admit he'd made a mistake, he was momentarily at a loss for words, and continued to sit quietly, searching his eyes, wanting to believe him. But he had been hurt before by MacLeod's cold rejection. Looking at the Immortal, he realized for the first time, this was a new MacLeod. A more compassionate, forgiving MacLeod. Maybe they both had learned some bitter lessons in Europe about how much they both needed each other. Old habits were hard break but, it appeared MacLeod was trying his damnedest to change. Now it was up to him, to help break the cycle they had been going through over the years. Thinking he was probably going to regret it, but deciding to take the chance, he pulled himself to his feet and walked over to the cabinet beside the desk and pulled out a bottle of bourbon and two glasses. Setting them down on the desk, he unscrewed the cap and poured the amber-colored liquor equally into the two glasses. Hanging his cane over his arm, he picked up one of the glasses and offered it to the surprised MacLeod. "Well Mac, we may both be a couple of masochistic fools but, I'm willing to give this crazy friendship of ours another chance if you are." Rising, and taking the drink Joe offered, Duncan held out his hand and said earnestly, "It seems no matter how long I live, I still have a lot to learn." As they both raised their glasses in a salute, Duncan said. "Thank you, for giving me another chance, Joe." MacLeod's uncharacteristic humble apology was almost Joe's undoing. Taking a deep shallow of bourbon, he clasped MacLeod's out-stretched hand and pulled him into a manly version of a hug, before pushing him back and saying gruffly. "Let's not have any more of these misunderstandings again, okay Mac? My constitution can't take it." Realizing how much he had hurt Joe in the past by his unbending sense of pride, he raised his glass in a single salute to his friend and said quietly, his voice filled with emotion. "You've got it Joe." Duncan had made his peace with Joe Dawson, but he still had another problem to solve, Caitlin. He could leave things the way they were and let her continue to think what she wanted. The trouble was, he still loved her and wanted her to understand. But, if he went back and persuaded her to listen to him, he'd be laying himself open for more accusations and more questions. How much of himself and his secret world did he want her to know. It was different with Tessa. They were together three years before he finally loved her and trusted her enough to reveal the truth. At least partially the truth. It was still many years later before she learned the entire story. He and Caitlin had fallen in love so fast. Their situation was completely the opposite. They hadn't had the time to build the foundation of trust and unconditional love that he had shared with Tessa. Caitlin had already learned too much, too soon about Immortals and Watchers, before he had the chance to tell her what she was getting into. As much as he loved Caitlin, even if she finally consented to listen to him, would she still want to share his life. Could he trust her to keep his secret?