Date: Wed, 7 Feb 1996 16:42:39 -0500 Reply-To: Kristina Mairi Buhrman Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: Kristina Mairi Buhrman Subject: The Mother of All Bad Crossovers Background: on the Gargoyles list, there was speculation over what would be on the last episodes of the season, title "The Gathering". This silliness resulted. In light of the hilarious Crossover post, I thought I'd share this. Gargoyles are creatures from Scotland who can fly and turn to stone during the day. Goliath is the leader, and Hudson is the oldest, and carries a large sword. They are friends with Elisa, a cop, and her partner Matt Bluestone, who's a conspiracy freak like Mulder, only with the Illuminati. Xanatos is the villian, who is voice acted by the actor who played Riker. Demona is a gargoyle who is mystically linked to Macbeth by the Wierd Sisters since.. 1064 or something. They're both immortal in that they can't die until one kills the other. Goliath, Elisa and Angela and Bronx (pet da pooch, the amazin gargoyle dog), have been traveling the world from Avalon in a small boat. (pause for breath) There. I don't own the shows. I'm just borrowing the characters (and TPTB probably'd never speak to me again after this ) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- >> On Jan 23, 1996 08:53:24, 'rag@airmail.net (Kestrel the Fairly Decent >> Dragon)' wrote: >> > >> >Nah, they'll just go buy a collectable card game, and then complain when >> >Xanatos buys out the entire set and beats them all soundly. >> > >> >Either that, or a bunch of immortals will meet in New York to kill each >> other. > >Mmm... I can see it now.... > >(Scene, clock tower, a bedragled and muddy quartet [Elisa, Goliath, >Angela, Bronx] come in) > >Elisa: Hey guys! We're back! > >(nothing) > >Elisa: Guys..? > >(cut to scene of Brooklyn, Lex, and Broadway playing Magic) > >Brooklyn: Oh yeah? Well, I Tim your Vampire Bats before they attack my > Medic. Then I.... > >Goliath: What is this foolishness? > >Lex: Magic. > >Goliath: What? > >Lex: *You* know. Magic. I found this really cool store on the > corner. They didn't even look twice when I came in. > >Goliath: (muttering) Xanatos... > >(Bronx wanders over and claws at the cards. Broadway tries to shoo him away.) >(Bluestone walks in, muttering and flipping through a paperback) > >Bluestone: I *know* they made this difficult on purpose. The truth has to > be in here somewhere... > >Lex: *Still* trying to figure out Illuminati: New World Order? > >Elisa: Didn't you notice that we had gone? > >Brooklyn: huh? Oh, yeah, that. > >(Goliath walks out to the ledge, still muttering under his breath) > >(Suddenly, a guy in a trenchcoat and a drawn sword bursts into the clock >tower) > >Connor: NOW IT ENDS KURGAN! THERE CAN BE ONLY.... >(the guys don't even looks up. a bit sheepishly he sheathes his sword in the >trench coat) > >Elisa: (pulls out her gun) Police! Freeze! (Connor walks over to where the > trio is playing, looks for a while, then walks away in disgust) >Alright, > who are you? > >Connor: I am Connor MacLeod of the clan MacLeod, I was born in 1518 on the >shores of Loch Shiel. I am Immortal. (he is >about to pull out his sword for a quick demonstration of that fact, but Hudson >comes in) > >Hudson: Ach, lad. You'll not be pulling *that* stunt again, will you? > >(Connor glares. Elisa gets her puzzled look. Goliath, sensing the pick-up line, >comes in to glare. Angela looks at Connor and swoons [hey, why the hell not?]) > >Connor: Hudson, have you seen the Kurgan lately? > >Hudson: The Kurgan has more sense to be barging into a police station at > all hours of the night. Now behave yourself, or I'll be taking >your head > myself. Anyway, how's Duncan? > >(Connor sits down on the floor, pulls out his sword again and starts to >polish it, clean it, whatever it is one does to fiddle with a sword. >Bluestone is impressed by the sudden appearance of the sword.) > >Bluestone: Intradimensional katana space? (Connor glares) I've seen the >Illuminati use something like that to hide their... > >Hudson: (sighs) Next you'll be talking about aliens. > >Bluestone: You *knew* about how the Illuminati is using aliens to control > the government? > >(Another Immortal comes in and proceeds to fight Connor. The trio is still >palying Magic, unpertrubed. Demona, feeling left out that *she* isn't >causing major damage to the surroundings, comes in and starts firing her >laser gun. Macbeth shows up not too far behind, bringing up the question: >what would happen if one of the two had their head cut off? Would it just >be really painful? Would the body get up and start fumbling for the head? >And if the headless body shows up in a cartoon, do you get double drinks >in the Highlander drinking game?) > >Goliath: (roars) What is going on here? > >(Owen of the Stone Hand and Xanatos rush in. Xanatos is holding a >Watcher's Chronicle. They are followed by a multitude of those extras who >serve as mercenarys) > >Xanatos: So this is the famous Russel Nash and... friends. Don't worry >about taking 'em alive boys. > >(More chaos. Various people start heading for the balcony and jumping or >gliding off. Goliath is muttering something about Toronto being nice this >time of year. Down on the street, and shocked yuppie couple observe >Connor, generic evil Immortal and MacBeth hit the pavement, to come up a >few moments later. The man heads straight for a pay phone. His sleave >pulls back to reveal a tattoo.) > >Male Yuppie: Dawson! Drop everything in Seacover and get over here; > you *have* to see what's happening. > >To Be Continued... >(Next time: Demona and The Kurgan decide to meet for dinner. Xanatos quits >the Illuminati to join the Hunters. Angela divorces her parents and goes >on a talk show circut "When Gargoyle ways aren't best, a young woman's >odyssey. Next Sally Jesse Raphael." Puck is dared to make Owen have a good >old fashioned belly laugh. Nessie is abducted by Men in Black. The Emir >shows up with a new friend... Caine (!) to start teaching people about the >true nature of life, death, the universe and everything. >Goliath moves to Toronto and the viewers find out what happens if a >vampire is sticking their teeth in a gargoyle just as they turn to stone. >And the earth is destroyed to make way for an intergalactic superhighway.) > >*gasp for breath* > >(caffiene is a weird master, my friends) > >-Kristina kmb19@cornell.edu =========================================================================