Date: Wed, 14 Feb 1996 07:45:05 -0500 Reply-To: MJordan104@AOL.COM Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: "Monica T. Jordan" Subject: Second Posting: Remembrance It came to my attention that the quotes didn't come through in the first posting which made it hard to read. So I'm posting it a second time hopefully fixing the problem. Thanks. Monica. ============================================================ "REMEMBRANCE" (part 1/1) by Monica T. Jordan. Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction based on characters from Highlander the Series created and owned by Rysher Entertainment. Used without permission. KEY: /quotes/ *emphasis* Seacover. February 1996. The bike came around the corner as such a fast clip, at the busy intersection, it was surprising it didn't crash into any anything. Richie upped it another notch. Riding his bike fast always helped him to forget. But only for a little while. He whisked by cars, sliding in and out at dangerous speeds. He ignored the honking sounds of the annoyed drivers. He smiled wickedly and slipped in yet again, between two cars. It was a tight space and the second car swerved and barely missed hitting the car in the oncoming lane. Richie took another corner, too fast again, but he was an expert rider and merely leaned into it, again managing not to crash into anything. After a few more minutes, he roared into the alley next to the Dojo. He parked his bike and went in. He came through the doors and stopped, surveying the gym. He sighed heavily and walked to the office. He didn't feel like working, but felt obligated to. he thought. He threw his jacket on the back of the chair and plopped down in it. He stared at the computer, the thoughts still with him. he thought bitterly. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He sighed heavily again and turned the computer on and got to work. ### Duncan had heard Richie's motorcycle roar into the alley and then go quiet. He could faintly sense him. He'd been up for the last couple hours trying to convince himself he should get up and get busy. He wasn't successful. He'd tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. His thoughts were racing he could barely think. He should go down and talk to Richie, but he couldn't. He needed to be alone. He'd avoided the young immortal for two days, and Richie had gotten the hint. Duncan turned over on his side and stared at the clock. 9:15am. he thought again. But didn't. ### It was a couple hours later, and the gym was being used by some regulars. Richie was trying to make sense of the accounting for the Dojo. He typed at the computer furiously, trying to make it cooperate. When the screen went blank, he banged on the keyboards, swearing loudly. A few eyes looked his way, but he didn't notice or didn't care. Then he sensed it. The presence of an approaching Immortal. It was strong. It couldn't be Mac, since he didn't hear the elevator, and besides, Mac was in one of his famous dark moods and he hadn't seen him for a couple days. Richie looked towards the front of the Dojo where the sensation intensified. Richie stood, tense. His hand on his jacket. He gasped as he recognized the Immortal. /Connor MacLeod!/ whispered Richie. He stood there transfixed as Connor walked towards him with a slight grin on his face. He looked exactly the same the last time he'd seen him. Short cropped hair, slight stubble, tan trench coat wrapped tightly at his waist, jeans, sneakers, hands in his pockets, head slightly bowed. It seemed like a lifetime ago Richie had met him. ~~~~~~~ ..../Same clan. Different vintage./... ~~~~~~~ The memory came and went to Richie. His eyes stung as he remembered the night that changed his life forever. Connor reached the office and saw the curious look Richie had. /Hello Connor./ said Richie. /Hello kid. Nice of you to remember me./ Connor said smiling at Richie's surprised look. He reminded Connor of a small puppy. /How could I forget!/ Richie said, absently scratching his head. /I see things have changed for you, since we last met?/ Connor said. /Uh...yeah. I guess you could say that./ Richie was still thinking back to the night he first saw Connor. The swords. The silence in the office was growing heavy. Connor began to fidget. /Is Duncan around?/ /Yeah...I think so./ /You don't know?/ Connor didn't like that answer. /He should be upstairs in the Loft./ Connor absently looked at the ceiling then at Richie waiting. /Should I wait or make an appointment?/ Connor said attempting humor. He noticed the kid was nervous. /What is it kid?/ he came closer to Richie and laid a hand on his shoulder. /Is Duncan all right?/ /I think so. I haven't seen him for a couple days. The last time I saw him, he said he needed time alone. But I guess in your case he'd make an exception./ /Well I certainly hope so./ Connor decided he'd made the right decision in coming to look for his clansman. ### Duncan groaned loudly as he heard the elevator. He wondered what could Richie possibly want that he had to come up. He sat up straight in the bed as he felt the strong buzz from the elevator. He realized Richie wasn't alone and hoped it wasn't Amanda. He hadn't seen her since she left, after her mortal friend was hurt. He sat up in bed looking at the elevator doors. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw Connor exit. /Connor!?/ gasped Duncan. /The one and only./ Connor said taking the place in. Richie was behind him and said nothing. Connor stopped as he took in the sight that was Duncan MacLeod. By his looks, he hadn't shaved in days, his hair was a mess, and it seemed he'd been in bed for a week. /What are you doing here?/ Duncan stammered as he patted down his hair. Connor glared at him and Duncan felt shamed at having his mentor and friend see him like this. And it didn't help that Richie was here either. /Thought you could use the company. And by the looks of you, I'd say I was right./ Duncan hung his head. /I...umh, think I'll go back.../ Richie began as he was backing into the elevator, but one look from Connor and he froze. /Care to tell me what's going on, or should I?/ Connor spat in Duncan's direction. Duncan still hung his head and Richie came in and slumped down in the sofa looking at the ceiling. After a long, awkward silence. Connor was still standing looking at Duncan. Richie was still seated, silent. /This is not a good time Connor./ began Duncan. /It never is./ Said Connor as he sat down next to Duncan. /You can't continue to blame yourself for what happened Duncan./ Duncan looked up into the knowing eyes of his mentor. Tears threatening to reveal themselves. /Connor.../ he barely could say the name. The pain he was holding back for the past few days, was close to spilling over. He looked down again and clamped his hands together. /You're letting the pain eat at you, Duncan. And if you don't stop, it'll destroy you. You have to move on./ he said laying a hand on Duncan's shoulder. Duncan said nothing. /You have to move on for your sake and his./ Duncan looked up, not realizing what Connor meant. Connor nodded to Richie who was sitting, still staring at the ceiling. Duncan didn't understand. Richie got up suddenly. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to hear what Connor MacLeod had to say or think. He needed to get away. And fast. Connor next words froze Richie in the spot. /You feel guilty because she died don't you?./ Duncan's eyes where fixed on Richie's unmoving figure. He was shocked at what Connor had just said. Richie said nothing. /Wh-- What are you talking about Connor? Guilty about whose death?/ Duncan said. Connor looked his kinsman in the eyes. He could feel Duncan's pain. /Tessa's./ he said gently, but at the mention of her name, the reservoir of Duncan's pain, spilled. Connor's grip tightened on Duncan's shoulder. "It's okay to miss her, my friend. But not okay to let it eat you up. I know." Connor said those last two words with such sorrow. He did know. Then he looked at Richie who hadn't moved and walked towards the young immortal. /You feel guilty don't you?/ Richie said nothing at Connor's words. Duncan looked up. /Why would he feel guilty? He was killed at the same time as Tessa./ /Exactly./ Connor said gently reaching out to Richie who moved away as if he'd been burned. He had his back to Duncan. /Richie?/ called Duncan who got up and walked towards the two immortals. Richie still said nothing. /Richie?/ /He feels guilty about being an immortal./ Connor stated looking at a puzzled Duncan. /But why?/ Duncan inquired, standing just behind Richie. /Because if I'd known, she'd still be alive./ Duncan was shocked to silence as Richie's words sank in. Duncan looked at Connor then at Richie's back. /If you'd known?... Richie.../ Duncan paused. /I had no idea you felt this way. Why didn't.../ /Why didn't I tell you?/ Richie swung around. Duncan stepped back as he realized he'd been crying. /Oh, hell Mac. You had enough on your mind, to have to listen to my problems./ Duncan still said nothing. /What was I going to say? I miss her? I hate the guy who did it? I hate myself for still breathing?/ Richie stopped and glared at Connor. His hands made up into fist. Duncan reached out and embraced Richie who fought him at first, but then gave in. For the next few minutes, he wailed like a baby. Duncan joined unable to suppress his feelings. Connor stood there, silent. Duncan was still shocked. He had no idea Richie felt guilty about his immortality. He'd been so wrapped up in his own feelings, he never even thought about how Richie felt about missing Tessa. He pulled away slightly holding Richie's head in his hands looking into his eyes. /Richie, it wasn't your fault she died. You were killed too./ /Yes I was. But only permanently. If I'd known, Mac. If.../ /But you didn't./ /But if I'd known... If you'd told me.../ /If I'd told you, you both would still have been shot Richie./ /No! I could've protected her Mac. I could've.../ the pain in Richie's throat was getting heavy again. Duncan embraced Richie again. Holding him fiercely as the young man cried again. ### An hour later, Richie was calmer. Duncan had managed to get cleaned up and Connor had fixed something to eat. Richie sipped at the coffee Connor had made and grimaced at the taste. He added lots of sugar and cream. Duncan just looked at Connor who was wearing what looked like a smile on his face. After some small talk, Richie and Duncan sat on the sofa and faced each other. /This talk is long overdue./ Duncan said with a gentle smile, tapping Richie on the knee. /Yeah./ Richie paused. /Mac I'm sorry, I didn't mean.../ /Sorry for what Richie? For missing her?/ Richie who was intently staring at his hands, looked up at Duncan. /It's just that.../ he stopped. He didn't know how to begin. Duncan looked at him reasuredly and nodded him to go on. Richie sighed heavily, and took a deep breath. /It's just that.../ he paused again. /She's the only mother I really had./ Richie whispered. He didn't look at Duncan as he said it, so he missed the soft look Duncan gave him. /I guess it sounds stupid./ /No. Richie. It doesn't./ Duncan put his hand on Richie's and gave a light squeeze. Richie looked up. Tears threatening to come again. He blinked them away. /I mean, I know I was 17 and all. And she was way too young to be my real mother, but she just had a way of, a way of.../ Richie stopped, Duncan smiled for him to continue. /She had a way of making me feel special. And I miss that./ /Yes. That was a special gift she had./ he said wistfully. /She felt the same about you Richie./ Duncan offered. Richie was surprised. /I thought I was a nuisance and she only put up with me because of you./ /At the beginning she often wondered why I took you in. But when she realized the potential of reforming you, she took it on as a personal challenge./ Richie smiled at that. /She constantly worried about you and wondered what you were up to. Just like a mother would./ Richie's smiled widened. Duncan hadn't realized how much he'd miss that smile. The boys personality was infectious at times. /She worried about me?/ Duncan nodded. /She constantly talked to me about her worries over you./ Duncan smiled. /She couldn't stand the fact you had a new girlfriend everytime she blinked.../ /What!?/ Richie asked in surprised. /She worried you'd get your heart broken and when you did in Paris with that married lady, she felt the pain you did. She would've done anything to spare you the pain of rejection./ Duncan continued. /And when you got hurt that time with Gregor, she hit the roof./ /She did?/ /Yeah, Richie. She often asked me if she should tell you about how attached she'd become of you, how she saw you as her own./ /And why didn't she?/ /She didn't want you to think she was trying to control you./ /She wasn't controlling, Mac. If anything she was a great influence to me. I loved that about her. She made me realize that I could be better than what I expected of myself. Her believing in me made me want to change./ Duncan smiled at that. He really hadn't known how much Richie had loved Tessa. How much he missed her. Richie got quiet as he became pensive. /What is it?/ Richie looked at Duncan. Searching for something. Some questions had been on his mind ever since that fateful night he became immortal. /Did... Did she know?/ Connor sat up straight as he realized what Richie was asking. /Did she know what I was, I mean?/ Duncan had understood the first time, but he took his time in answering. /No./ Duncan said with difficulty. He'd wanted to tell her on many occasions but no time ever felt right. /I'd spoken to Darius about it./ He bagan quietly. /If I should tell her./ he paused and looked at Connor. /He didn't tell me anything I didn't expect. He felt I should do what I thought was best. So I never told her. And to this day I regret it./ /Why?/ asked Connor, who up till now was a mere observant. Duncan didn't look at him. /I don't know./ Duncan said flatly. Duncan didn't believe anything else that night could shock him, but Richie's next question did. Even Connor gasped at the question. /Did you ever wish that she'd been the Immortal and not me./ It wasn't even a question, but a statement. Richie didn't dare look at Duncan or Connor. He'd been mulling this over and finally blurted it out. Got it in the open. He often wondered what Mac's answer would be if he ever had the guts to ask it. Duncan stared at Richie. He didn't know what to say. him mind screamed, but he dared not say it out loud. By the look on Duncan's face, Connor knew what the answer to this question had been. Richie braved a look at Duncan and got his questioned answered. /I thought so./ Richie whispered as he got up and stretched. Duncan looked at Richie knowing his reaction had betrayed his silence. /Richie.../ /It's okay. If I'd had a choice of who I'd rather the immortal be, the love of my life or a street punk who tried to rob me? I wouldn't have to think about it./ Richie was hurt, but he had asked the question. What did he expect. /That's not a fair question, boy!/ Connor said angrily at Richie. Duncan waved him to stop. /Richie, I'm.../ he paused getting up and standing behind Richie. /I'm sorry./ he tried to touch the young man, but he stepped away turning to face Duncan. /Don't be. I wouldn't. I knew Tessa barely two years and I miss her terribly. You on the other hand.../ Richie let the words hang. /*You* shouldn't feel guilty about feeling that way. You loved her dearly and I would've gladly given my life for hers./ Duncan was overcome with emotion at Richie's words, tears streaming down his cheek, unable to speak. /Tessa gave me so much I will never be able to repay her./ He walked to Duncan and put both hands on his shoulders. /And you my friend, have given me who I am today. I wish many a nights she was the immortal one. If only not to see the pain in your eyes./ The immortal friends embraced and mourned silently for their loss. Connor, feeling awkward walked towards them and tapped lightly on their backs. They both looked at Connor, who was fighting a losing battle with his emotion as a tear roll down his cheek. Both Richie and Duncan laughed at him. Connor looked embarrassed, but smiled as well. The healing process had begun. The End. Author's Note: This story came to me as I was watched The Darkness and Leader of the Pack. I often wondered what Richie and Duncan did, when the Anniversary of Tessa's death came around. This idea popped in my head and I had to write it. This is my first posted fanfic. So let me know what you think. Comments, Thoughts, Criticism can be e-mailed to (mjordan104@aol.com). Thanks. =========================================================================