Date: Fri, 17 Nov 1995 14:25:15 -0600 Reply-To: Julia Kosatka Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: Julia Kosatka Subject: In the Dark, 12/21 (REPOST) ADULT realized in us, though in truth most of us would rather help humankind than harm it. We represent too much of a temptation to too many people, and despite our immortality, we're too vulnerable." He sighed. "Then, too, we have to hide from our own kind." "From your own kind? Why?" "Because of the Game." "What game?" He shook his head, his expression eloquent of disgust. "It's a stupid name, for it's no game at all. It's deadly serious. There is an essence, an energy, that's released when we die. If one of us kills another, the killer gains that essence. Each gain makes us stronger, harder to kill, more... powerful. We have no knowledge of why we are, of what or who we are. The single rule we live by have says that we have to keep killing each other until there's only one of us left." She looked horrified. "Duncan! That's..." she broke off, groping for a kinder way to say what he knew she was thinking. "Insane?" He supplied. "I know. I decided that a long, long time ago. I've tried to avoid it, but sometimes, when they hunt me down, I can't." "Dane! He was one of you? That finally begins to make sense. He was an immortal, like you!" Duncan nodded, his expression bleak. "He was." "And the woman Dane tortured, your lover, the one you told me about, she was too?" He closed his eyes briefly, and nodded again. "So when you killed her, you gained this... power, from her? Oh Duncan, no wonder you felt so guilty! That's horrible!" He shuddered. "It's one of the worst things I've ever had to do. But she begged me. I couldn't refuse her." "I know. We've been through this, you know I don't fault you for it. Duncan, this explains so much that never quite made sense! The way you reacted to certain things, way you feel..." "The way I feel?" he queried, clearly curious. "Your presence, your `aura,' if you will, is so much stronger than that of most humans. I never understood why, before, now I do. It also explains why I felt something similar from Dane. And it tells me what Evan Conroy was trying to gain by those killings." Duncan nodded. "Dane had convinced him that he could become one of us by killing. It wouldn't have worked, of course. The only way to become an Immortal is to be born one. But Evan wanted it so badly, he believed Dane when he told him that," he shook his head, sadly. "Poor Evan. He's not the first to want immortality, nor will he be the last. Fortunately for him, he didn't have to find out the hard way that it's not all it's cracked up to be." Guinan looked at him quietly for a moment, her eyes narrowed. "Having a hard time with it, are you?" He slouched back in his chair and nodded. "Aye. Sometimes I wonder if I haven't lived long enough." She sighed, looking off into some unknown distance. "I know what you mean. I've felt that. It's hard not to, sometimes. You wonder why you're still here when so many others aren't, you wonder what purpose you serve." "Exactly." He was surprised to realize how good it felt to talk like this, to have someone understand what he felt, and know it wasn't just lip service. She'd been there. She knew. "I'm glad we met again," she said suddenly. "I've never been happy with the way we parted." "Me either. It's funny, you and I could have told each other our secrets then, and been better off! But we didn't realize it." "That's the thing about secrets. They isolate us, even when they don't need to." He put hand behind his neck, trying to massage out the tension there, and flexed his shoulders. That led to a yawn, and he shot an apologetic glance her way. "Sorry, I'm tired. I've been trying to keep my ship running on chewing gum and bailing wire since she went down. It's been a long five days." "It was your ship that went down on Koto Barani?" Guinan asked, then seconds later she smiled and shook her head, answering her own question. "Of course, where else could you have come from? What happened?" "I honestly don't know. The Darius was an old ship, but she was in good shape, and we never had any kind of engine problems before. And it wasn't just the engines, either. It was everything. Engines, navigation, hell, even the replicators went offline! The only system that didn't fail was life-support. If I could think of a reason why, I might suspect someone sabotaged the ship. But what I was carrying wouldn't be valuable to anyone but the Valhallans. There's no logical reason for anyone to sabotage my ship." "Duncan, a ship doesn't have to be old to have systems failures. We have them all the time! In fact, if I hear Geordi grousing about the starboard power coupling one more time, I'll scream! Sometimes things just happen. Don't let yourself get paranoid." "You're right, of course. I just want someone to blame for Jeremy's death besides myself. And no, you don't have to remind me that it wasn't my fault. I know it already." He leaned back, and closed his eyes for a moment, as much to shut out her sympathy as to rest for a moment. "You are tired, aren't you? Why don't you go to your quarters and rest?" He opened his eyes and sat forward again. "I was hungry, I asked Barclay where I could get dinner." "But you've taken care of that now?" "I did, thanks." "So, what's the real reason?" He stared at her for a moment, eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me... El-Aurians are telepathic." "Not exactly, but sort of. Enough to know when someone's lying to me, in any case." He grinned wryly, shaking his head. "It figures. All right, I admit it. I'm trying to avoid Dr. Crusher." "Why?" "I don't want her finding out what I am, and if I set foot in sickbay, she'll know something's up. She thinks she needs to examine me and won't believe me when I tell her I'm fine." Guinan chuckled. "That's our Beverly all right. But you could have gone straight to your quarters and gotten both rest and food... they did assign you quarters, right?" "Probably, but I haven't a clue where. After I checked in my cargo with Lieutenant Barclay, he took me to Ten Forward, and then he had to leave. Frankly, I'm a bit lost here. My ship was big enough for me, and my first officer, and that's about it. The Enterprise is a blessed floating city. Besides, even if they have assigned me quarters, I can't go there, because then she'll know where to find me." "True, but you can't avoid her forever." He grinned. "No, but I might just be able to avoid her until I can think of a good way to put her off." Guinan laughed, and the rich, throaty sound took him back years. It was somehow fitting that he'd met her again in a bar. She glanced up at something over his left shoulder, then back at him. "Look, I have to get back to Ten-Forward, there's a new shift about to start and I need to be there. You're welcome to stay here if you like. She won't be able to find you, and you can sleep. I won't be back for hours. How does that sound? He sighed. "Like heaven, but you're sure I'm not putting you out." "What are old friends for? Beverly will probably be annoyed with me, but I'll pretend I didn't know she was looking for you. The bedroom and bathroom are that way," she pointed. "Feel free to use both. The replicator's in the corner there if you get hungry again." She stood up, and he rose as well, reaching out to catch her hand. "Thank you, I know you've no reason to trust me, not after all this time. I appreciate it more than I can say." She gazed at him for a long moment, then her eyelids hid her all-too- expressive eyes from him. "The fact that you once risked your life to save mine might have some bearing on the matter. I'll see you in a few hours." On that note, she left. He looked around, not wanting to pry, but curious about her tastes. The compartment seemed peculiarly muted, like her clothing. He saw no past in her room, no mementos, no artifacts... nothing that betrayed the fact that she, like he, had more years than met the eye. He found that rather odd, considering the fact that unlike him, she lived here. There seemed barely more possessions than would fit into a couple of carryalls. Feeling somewhat of an intruder, he went to the bedroom. Like the sitting room, her bedroom was almost spartan. Her bed was wide, though, and looked comfortable, covered with what looked like a down comforter, and piled with pillows. He touched it, and found it firm, but yielding. He sat down, and started to lie back, then changed his mind. Shower first. He hadn't had a bath in days, and he'd had too many centuries of etiquette drummed into him to do something that inconsiderate. He got up and headed for the bathroom. **** Guinan paused a moment outside her quarters and reached up to touch her headdress. After a moment's hesitation, she slipped it off. For some reason she wanted to be the Guinan she had been when she had first met Duncan, rather than the Guinan she had become in the intervening years. It felt odd to take it off, as if she had removed a shield from between herself and the rest of the world. She hadn't realized she'd been doing that. Funny how you could help everyone else with their problems and still not be able to see your own. It had been four hours since she had left him in her quarters. For most of that time she'd fought the urge to go check on him. She'd finally given in, realizing it was in part simply the need to make sure she hadn't imagined it all. She ran a hand through her hair, which she still wore in a multitude of sleek braids, as she had all those years ago. A crewman passed and glanced at her briefly, then stared. She forced herself to nod politely, and he looked embarrassed and moved on. He'd probably never seen her without her head covered before. Very few people aboard the ship ever had. She looked down at herself, and realized she'd been hiding behind her clothes as well. She hadn't denied herself lovely colors or textures, but she had chosen styles as androgenous as a J'naii's. It was as if with the death of her world, she had tried to deny her own love of life. She had become prematurely old, dispensing wisdom and empathy, but refusing anything in return. Only now did she begin to see how empty that was. She sighed and entered her quarters, quietly, leaving the lights low. He was there. She could sense him, sleeping, and didn't want to disturb him. She sat down for a few moments on the couch and tried to relax, but she felt as if she were a cat someone had been petting backwards.... full of static electricity and on edge. This was ridiculous! Just plain silly! She got up to return to Ten-Forward, and stopped. She had to go look. She had to see him with her eyes, not just her Othersense. He was sprawled out on her bed in the boneless relaxation of deep sleep. Judging from the amount of skin showing here and there beneath the rumpled covers, he was naked. She kept her eyes on his face. It was funny how all men seemed to have the ability to look incredibly innocent when they slept, no matter how old or how experienced they actually were. Duncan was definitely no exception. She noticed again that he had incredibly long eyelashes. They probably rivaled Deanna's. In fact, he had a rather Betazoid look about him, that sort of same unconscious grace and sensuality. She made a face. `Stop thinking about sensuality, Guinan,' she admonished herself silently. `It's not a good idea.' Shaking her head, she turned to leave, and brushed against the small table next to the door. It rattled, and he stirred at the sound, rolling onto his stomach. She froze, and watched him for long moments until she was sure he wasn't going to wake up. Finally reassured, she relaxed, but she didn't stop watching him. Damn, the man was surely a work of art. He looked awfully good lying there in her bed, his skin seeming dark against the creamy linens. It was so tempting to just reach over and see if he felt as good as he looked. `No! No, no, no! You will stop that,' she told herself sternly. `He's off limits. He's a human, he's just a baby, and you're a... ' She stopped suddenly, feeling as if someone had just turned on a light. She was thinking in the past! He wasn't just a baby, he was a good two-hundred years her senior! This wasn't twentieth-century Earth, and she wasn't on a research visit any more. There were no rules to follow, save those she made herself. This was now, here, and there was no reason on earth why she shouldn't indulge herself, should the opportunity present itself. A smile curved her mouth. This could be fun. She stepped out into her sitting room again, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She studied her reflection, dissatisfied with it. This wasn't who she wanted to be right now. After a moment's thought she went to the replicator and began to program it. **** Deanna Troi stretched and sighed, wiggling her toes in her uniform boots, wishing she'd changed clothes before coming down to Ten-Forward for dinner. Toes were not meant to be cramped up in shoes all day. They were meant to go barefoot on soft carpets of grass. She indulged in a brief fantasy of that, and had just gotten to the part where she was about to wade into a crystal-clear stream when she became aware that she was no longer alone. She glanced up, and had to look twice before she recognized the woman who stood by her side. "Guinan?" she asked incredulously. The woman nodded, a mass of dark braids bouncing as she did, and she smiled. Her smile was instantly recognizable even if the rest of her wasn't. "What can I do for you?" she asked, still smiling. "Me?" Deanna managed, weakly, taking in the changes. Gone was the halo-esque cap, and matronly tunic-and-trouser combination she had affected ever since Deanna had known her. In its place was a flowing and highly flattering vest-like garment of painted silk over a snug-fitting teal bodysuit. Somehow she looked years younger, and both less and more approachable. Guinan smiled. "Don't you usually want something when you come in here? What'll it be?" "Oh, yes. Well, I... Guinan! What have you done?" Guinan laughed. "I needed a change. I was tired of being Our Lady of Ten-Forward." Deanna sat forward, letting her empathic senses range out, and was startled by what she found. Guinan obviously sensed her probe, because she shook her finger in mock-reproach. "Now, now, Deanna Troi, you know that's not polite!" Deanna grinned. "It's not, but it works. Who is he?" Guinan grinned back. "A very, very old friend." "One of your people?" "Not... exactly." "I want to meet him!" "You will, I'm sure. In fact, Beverly's probably going to ask you to try to bring him into sickbay for her." Deanna stared at her, puzzled. "Why? Is he ill?" "No, he just doesn't like doctors." "Now that's not true, doctors are fine people, I just don't happen to need one." The voice from behind her had been preceded by an almost overwhelming sense of presence. Deanna turned to see who that sensation, and the mellifluous baritone belonged to, and found herself gaping. He was a big man, olive-skinned and dark haired. He had beautiful dark eyes, and a mouth that made her think of candle-lit bedrooms and satin sheets. He was smiling at Guinan in a way that certainly explained what had prompted her sudden transformation! Before Deanna could gather her wits, his eyes narrowed and the teasing smile on his face faded as his skin turned chalky- pale. "Thalassa?" he asked, looking and sounding as if he'd seen a ghost. Deanna felt a wave of emotions from him; fear, surprise, elation, loss, guilt. It was physically painful to feel what he was going through, and it had come as too much of a surprise to put up shields against. She put out a hand as if to bodily push him away. "Please, stop. I can't-- it hurts!" He stepped back, still looking stunned, and the sensations faded somewhat. She relaxed a little, rubbing her temples. "Thank you, that helps." "You're Betazoid." he said, realization dawning as he looked at her dark-in-dark eyes. "God, I'm sorry! I didn't realize! It's just that you look so much like her! I'm afraid it was kind of a shock." "Her?" Guinan asked, her voice sounding rather odd. "The woman you..." her question trailed off but it was clear he knew what she meant. He nodded. "Yes. Her." The guilt-feelings strengthened and Deanna flinched. Guinan stepped forward and put out her hand, gently touching his arm. "Duncan, you know it wasn't your fault." He swallowed hard and nodded slowly, and the feelings subsided to a more manageable level, leaving behind melancholy and resignation in their wake. He shook it off enough to turn to Deanna, his expression concerned. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but for just a moment I thought you were someone I-- lost, a long time ago. You could be her twin." "It's all right, you couldn't have known I was an empath, and you were obviously surprised by my appearance. I'm Deanna Troi, I'm the ship's counselor." He took her hand and briefly brushed his lips across it. She shivered pleasantly, thinking she could do with more of that. But no, this one was off-limits. The last person she'd want to offend was Guinan. "I'm Duncan MacLeod, pilot, late of the Darius." As he introduced himself, she realized he was the man they'd rescued from the crashed ship. "You're an old friend of Guinan's?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation to less painful subjects. "What a coincidence that we should be the ones to find you!" "Aye... I didn't even know she was still alive." He exchanged a warmly amused glance with Guinan. "Nor I him." Guinan echoed, that same amusement lacing her tones. "Are you El-Aurian too?" Duncan looked at Guinan again, smiling as if they shared a secret, and slowly shook his head. "No, I'm human, born and raised on Earth." Deanna thought that highly unlikely, but she didn't call him on it. He certainly didn't feel human. He was far too intense. Still, she realized with a start that he hadn't been lying about being born and raised on Earth. Maybe he was half-human, like herself. "So why does Dr. Crusher want to see you?" She's afraid I might have been injured in the crash. I've assured her that I'm fine, but she'd rather see for herself." "That is her job." Deanna pointed out, defending her friend. "It is, but I'm not one of her crew." "True," she admitted, though in actuality she suspected it was because he knew Beverly would see right through his little pretense of being human. Ordinarily that attempted deception would send out warning flags all over the place, but she trusted Guinan to know friend from foe. Whatever reason he had for his masquerade, she knew Guinan wouldn't let him endanger the ship or its crew. It made her faintly uncomfortable to be party to his subterfuge, no matter how innocent it might be, but she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. "Would you like to join me? I was about to have dinner." He shook his head. "No, thanks, I've eaten, but I appreciate the offer. Guinan, can I have a word with you?" She nodded and they moved away together to the far end of the bar, speaking quietly. Deanna toyed momentarily with the idea of trying to probe the newcomer further, then thought better of it. She had to trust Guinan in this. She looked around the room, and noticed that other people appeared interested in Guinan and her companion as well. That was not really surprising. Guinan's metamorphosis was nothing short of amazing, and Duncan MacLeod was, quite frankly, beautiful. It would be hard not to notice them. A familiar figure strode through the doors and she lifted a hand to wave Worf over, then stopped. He looked like a thundercloud, and his gaze was focused on MacLeod. Uh-oh. Trouble. She watched him march across the room toward his quarry, and decided maybe she was needed there, if only because she had a calming influence on Worf. She stood and hurried across to join them. "Mr. MacLeod," Worf rumbled, at his most formal, and most menacing. "You brought weapons aboard this ship without notifying me," MacLeod turned from his conversation with Guinan, clearly surprised. "Weapons?" he echoed blankly. "The transporter logs registered two bladed weapons amongst your belongings." Duncan relaxed visibly. "Oh, the swords! Forgive me, I didn't think to notify you, I didn't realize you would need to know. They're heirlooms, I couldn't leave them on the Darius for salvagers to carry off." That was apparently not the answer Worf had expected. He looked grudgingly mollified, and Deanna was relieved that she wasn't going to have to intervene. "I would like to inspect them." "I would be more than happy to let you see them, if I knew where they were. At the moment, I really don't know where they ended up." "Your personal items were transported directly to your quarters." "I know, but I don't know where that is." "You were not informed of the location of your quarters?" Duncan shook his head and Worf looked annoyed. "Lieutenant Barclay should have familiarized you with them." MacLeod studied Worf, and spoke calmly. "Lt. Barclay was called away to Engineering by Commander LaForge before he had a chance to tell me. It was not an error on his part." Deanna's appreciation for the man went up. It was very considerate of him to make the effort to keep Barclay out of trouble. It wasn't something many people would have thought of. Worf nodded acknowledgement. "Thank you, I will bear that in mind. You have been assigned to guest quarters on deck 10, not far from here. I will escort you there." MacLeod looked past Deanna to Guinan. "Later?" he queried. She nodded. "I'll find you." Worf looked from MacLeod to Guinan, a rather puzzled expression on his face as he studied the bartender. Deanna suspected he was as surprised by her appearance as she had been. He finally looked away from her to MacLeod, and spoke. "If you will follow me?" MacLeod nodded and followed him out, leaving Guinan and Deanna at =========================================================================