Date: Tue, 26 Jul 1994 14:30:18 -0500 Reply-To: Highlander TV show stories Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: Susan Coveney Subject: And the Memories Live Forever 4 of 5 And the Memories live forever By Susan Coveney PART IV "But touch my tears with your lips Touch my world with your fingertips..." - Queen Duncan did keep his promise. The next night he showed up at the same time. He walked to the same table, but no one was there. He sat down and waited still not understanding why he kept being drawn to this place, but he had learned centuries ago to trust his instincts in such matters. The music tonight held an almost tragic note. This matched his mood. Duncan watched the amber swirls in his drink and lost himself in the music. The memories were there again; but thistime they did not seem quite so powerful as they did in days past;... he remembered other clubs throughout his life, other women, other nights waiting for someone. He remembered Tessa on the night he proposed. "Will you marry me?" he had said. She was surprised. "Will you marry me?" he sung at her giddy at the thought of marrying her. It was no surprise that she accepted, but it had almost destroyed him that within a few days, she was dead. He didn't believe in curses, but all he could reemember now was the gypsy woman telling him he would bury many women, but marry none. The doubt nagged at his mind that if he hadn't asked her to marry him, she would still be alive today. It took a lot of effort to push that thought out of his mind. There had been so many women in his life during his 400 years. So much joy and love, it was easy to get lost in memories, but there was also so much pain. Losing so many loved ones... Gwen came in and sat beside him amazed at the depth of feeling portrayed in his face. She wondered what kind of tragic memories he was relieving. He was so caught up in them that he didn't even notice she had arrived. She laid a hand upon his arm, and he almost jumped out of his skin. "I'm sorry," Gwen said. "I didn't mean to startle you. "I'm sorry about last night," she continued trying to understand what she was seeing in front of her. Suncan looked so sad. She wondered how anyone could live with such profound sadness and still continue with live.. "I didn't mean to upset you so much." Duncan shrugged still caught in the memories. "I always worried how Tessa would deal with my death, but I never stopped to think about how I would deal with her death." Duncan stopped briefly. "I never expected it, at least not for 30 or 40 years." He realized how absurd that thought was, even if it was the truth. The gathering could go on for decades or even centuries. It would have been foolish to assume that it was more likely for Tessa to lose him than for him to lose Tessa, but that is exactly what he had thought. He had never allowed himslef to think of it. Gwen looked deep into Duncan's eyes, and tried to see what was haunting them, what memories were keeping guard there. "How did she die?" Duncan grimaced. "The bullet of a mugger. She didn't have any money on her, so the punk shot her. If I had only been there a few minutes sooner..." "Duncan," Gwen countered softly. "You were the one who told me not to dwell on what if's. Take your own advise." "I should, you know." He thought, begining to feel the memories hold upon him loosen even more. "That's right." Gwen said. "Thank you, Gwen," Duncan said. "Sometimes I think that it is more important to hear those things from someone not so closely involved." "I don't know." Gwen said. "I'm beginning to feel closely involved." Duncan took her hand. "I know the feeling." They sat for a long time after that, quiet, listening to the music, holding hands. "Duncan," Gwen interrupted his reverie. "How long did you know Tessa?" 'Twelve years." Duncan stated. "I had just asked her to marry me when she was kidnapped. We rescued her, I sent her out to be safe, and before I could get outside the mugger had found her and killed her." He looked down into his drink. Gwen wondered what he saw in there. Sometimes, when she had drunk a little too much, she thought she could almost see Gregory's face in her drink. Maybe Duncan saw Tessa's. Gwen sincerely hoed that if that was what he saw that Duncan wouldn't get so caught up in it that he would drink himself into oblivion to not forget Tessa. Gwen looked at him and realized just how much pain he was in. "That must have been a double shock. I remember when the police came to my door and told me that Gregory had been killed. And then, they never did find his head. I..." Duncan interrupted perplexed by what he thought he heard. "They never found his what..." Gwen repeated her statement. "his head. The tractor trailer had severed it from his body. The police assumed that when the truck overturned, his head was crushed, and there was so much debris, they never found it. It was hard. We had no choice but to have a closed casket. There wasn't much left to look at. In some ways I never got to say good-bye. Duncan answered "You never really get to say good-bye, no matter how prepared you are." Gwen looked quizzically. "Duncan, you speak as someone with a lot of experience in this matter? You seem so young, yet there are times you sound so old. Sometimes you sound a lot like my husband did. He used to talk like that, with wisdom older than his years. It was something I never quite understood. Even at 23, when we met, he seemed so wise. Maybe that was part of what attracted me to him. I always wondered how he got that wise." "I've had too much experience with death. " Duncan answered. He noticed they were still holding hands. "Too much. Sometimes I wonder if I want to go on" "What are your options." Gwen countered. "We all have to go on. I know you're in pain, I'm in pain too. We both lost someone very close to us. Someone who meant the world to us. I look into your face, Duncan, and I see such sadness, such longing, I wonder what tragedies you've seen in your life that would leave their mark on you this way. I wonder how you go on. But, in you, I see that you do go on, and that gives me the strenth to know that I can continue too." Duncan sighed. How he wished he could tell this woman who and what he really was. He wondered. Was her husband an immortal. If he was, why had he hidden it from her for 28 years. Was he so in love with this woman that he worked night and day to find the secret of immortality so that she could have it too. Or was he so afraid of losing her to the ravages of time and having to go on alone that he wanted to find a way to end his own immortality without the sword, with her, at a time of his own choosing. Or were all these facts just leading him to an erroneous conclusion. The other possibillity was that he was just one of many men of science throughout history fascinated by the possibility of immortality. Just another scientist looking for an answer. He couldn't burden her with the knowledge that their really were people who were immortal. He couldn't burden her with the knowldge that it was possible to live forever. That one who did often had that look in his eyes. So much death, so many loves, so many friends lost over the centuries, that was the sadness she saw. Wathing friends and lovers grow old and die of old age like Laura or leaving them without a trace because your presence would create too many questions always hurt. Never staining in one place for very long because it would mean having to deal with people noticing that you don't age was part of the territory to. All of these things contributed to his longing, his sadness. Sometimes, he just wished that he could have a lifespan closer to that of a mortal and then die, that might be a blessing. Ah, but he knew that they were just fantasys and he knew that he couldn't change who he was anymore than he could change the sun or the moon. For Duncan, Tessa's death had almost been the final blow, but Gwen was helping him to see that there was no alternative to continuing with life. He must go on, he must continue to strive, to live, for what else was there. Indeed, that was what life was all about. "Duncan" Gwen asked gently. "You mind seems off in space somewhere. Are you allright? Did I say something to upset you again?" "No," Duncan replied. "I was just thinking. You are right. What other choices do we have. We do have to go on. We have to keep struggling and fighting the sadness so that someday we might possibly love again." He paused taking a sip of his drink. "I'm glad I met you. " He gently lifted her hand up and kissed it. "You've made the past few days bearable." She smiled. "You are quickly becoming a friend to me, too, Duncan. I feel like I can trust you. My friends have all been telling me to join a support group for widows, but I tried it once, and found I didn't want to tell my personal stuff to a group of strangers. But you're different." Duncan interrupted. "I guess I 'm not a stranger anymore." "I guess not." Gwen laughed a little. "Maybe if they ask me again, I'll tell them I am. The Duncan MacLeod Support group." She paused for a moment mulling something over in her head. "You have a very nice name, you know. It is very strong and masculine. I've always liked Scottish names." "Thank you." Duncan said, a little startled. Where was she leading? She looked at him, with her deep green eyes, and he almost felt he could get lost in them. He was not afraid of her looking into his soul tonight. He almost wished she really could. Maybe, if she could, she could release some of this terrible burden from him. He felt her eyes drawing him in closer and closer until their lips met, and for a moment both souls stilled. Gwen quickly drew away, shocked, and flustered. "I didn't....I'm sorry... I can't..." She rambled. "I've got to leave..." And she jumped up and ran out the door before Duncan's "Gwen, wait..." could leave his lips. He quickly ran for the door, but by the time he reached the outside, she was gone. (END OF PART IV) =========================================================================