Date:         Mon, 2 Oct 1995 17:09:30 +0100
Reply-To:     Grail <u4d41@CC.KEELE.AC.UK>
Sender:       Highlander TV show stories <HLFIC-L@PSUVM.PSU.EDU>
From:         Grail <u4d41@CC.KEELE.AC.UK>
Subject:      Amanda (Act Two Scene Three)

========================
Scene III. The Road to the Inn.
========================

Enter Duncan.

Duncan : At least I am on the road to the inn,
        And I know I will find my way home,
        But I am forced to walk through the rain,
        Having left the coach at Peregrine Castle,
        And must struggle on solitary.
        'Tis good that I have my thoughts of Hawk
        To comfort me. I know for certain he is
        In the castle, and I know that I can get
        Inside it with ease. Tonight I shall break
        In, fight Hawk, then take his head and
        Make the world a safer place from
        Villains such as he. Amanda and I
        Shall his money take; I shall have a new kilt
        And Amanda some dresses with long
        Skirts and big bodices, that I
        May indulge my Highland sexism.
        But hold, I see others approaching!

Enter Albarn and Gallagher.

Albarn : Well, friend, and what's thy name?
        In this part of Cornwall, it's passing rare
        To find someone round here at night.

Duncan : My name is Duncan Macleod,
        And I am but a peaceful traveller.
        Let us pass by each other in peace and
        Calm, thereby letting ourselves go
        About our business. There need
        Be no bloodshed.

Albarn : Aye, but our business is with thee,
        Duncan Macleod, for we have been
        Told to find thee and capture thee.

Duncan : Truly? Then you Sassenachs
        Will regret the day you challenged
        A warrior of the Macleods, for
        I have - damn! Curses! I have no
        Sword, for Amanda guards them back
        At the inn. I am weaponless!
        I must face the thugs with my bare hands!

Gallagher : Face us with courage
        And you may save face, Macleod,
        But be assured that your face
        Will face the floor in a short time
        Because one face of yours against
        The two of ours, says that you face
        Hard odds indeed. And I knows that.

Duncan : Does he always -

Albarn : Aye, before thee asketh, he does.
        Gallagher is a man with a wordy tongue,
        Where I am a man who just
        Likes violence.

Duncan : Then let battle be joined!

Battle is joined.
Duncan is captured and held.
Enter Samuel.

Samuel : Well done, you have him.
        I was heading for the inn to find the
        Girl Amanda who troubled you,
        But I heard the noise and came here
        Instead. You are Macleod,
        Duncan in first name, who would
        Take the head of my mistress'
        Betrothed, one Daniel Hawk?

Duncan : Hawk is a villain. I will
        Have his head, as I would have had
        Those of these two, had they not been
        Better than me.

Samuel : Excellent.

Duncan : Excellent? You speak in riddles,
        The like of which Scotsmen do not
        Understand, for we only joke about
        Kilts and haggis.

Samuel : I shall explain. Hawk is a villain,
        As you have said, and he holds
        My mistress in his spell.
        If you kill Hawk, she will be free
        And I will be in your debt. I offer
        You this money here, to kill him
        As a reward for services rendered.

Duncan : You may keep your money.
        I shall kill him anyway.
        If you are part of the castle's servant ranks,
        Then you must know an easy way in.
        I ask you to help me get into the castle
        Tonight, that I may take Hawk's head.

Samuel : Thy wish is granted, Duncan
        Macleod, Highlander and saviour of
        My mistress. I shall take thee to the castle
        Now, and you may do the
        Decapitating deed as soon as possible.

Duncan : I have no sword.

Samuel : There are many at the castle.

Duncan : Amanda will be worried, but
        I will save Lady Peregrine from Hawk,
        And take the Quickening
        Most orgasmic, into the bargain.
        Sir, a bargain it is indeed.

Samuel : Then we go.

Albarn : Hold, Samuel! We have not been paid.

Samuel : You are thugs, and you have
        Grievously mistreated Sire Macleod.
        I shall pay you nought.

Exit Duncan and Samuel.

Albarn : Tolerate this we shall not,
        Gallagher my friend. Let us
        Follow them to the castle, gain
        Entry, and force them to pay us.

Gallagher : Aye.

Albarn : There was no wordplay in your sentence.

Gallagher : Let them rue the day
        They did not pay,
        How's that wordplay?

Exeunt Albarn and Gallagher.
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