Date: Wed, 23 Nov 1994 17:15:20 EST Reply-To: Highlander TV show stories Sender: Highlander TV show stories Comments: Resent-From: MACLEOD@TEMPLEVM Comments: Originally-From: MACLEOD@TEMPLEVM From: Brian Macleod Subject: Alone Well, this is some poetry I had written not *too* long ago that helped me deal with a really tramatic loss in my life, and I was just thinking about how well it would work for Duncan, with regards to Tessa. In a way, it's my way of saying thank you to the writers of the show, particularly the episode "the darkness." The events of my own life occured several months before this episode aired, but, by and large, the experience was shut out of my mind to a large degree. I don't know if one would consider it denial, or repression, or what, but I did not just lock it up inside of me, I never even had a key made to unlock it in any case. It was late one night as I watched that particular episode that everything came rushing back to me at once. As Tessa was shot I began to feel the numbness of shock again, the helplessness. When the flashback began, and the first few notes of "dust in the wind" began to play, everything became untapped and the entire event finally came forth. It was the beginning of my own recovery, which still continues. I just wanted to say thanks, in some way. Although it's probably a bad thing, I have never identified more with a fictional character than in that moment. (I guess this means I'm on the Duncan side of the camp, then...) Anyway, here it goes... for duncan and tessa, and for ericka... "alone" every morning that I awake to the rays of the rising sun, I give thanks that I'm still alive to see them one more time, but the beauty of nature's splendor is twinged with inevitable thoughts of her... "love, I don't like to see so much pain..." alone I sit and drift time's seas... holding, dreaming, wanting, wishing, loving her again, knowing that only these memories give her life "days pass... and this emptiness fills my heart..." and knowing that only in these moments does my life seem to give. half a year and a thousand memories seperate our existances, but when I close my eyes and feel the warmth of the rising sun she's here with me once more... "but whichever way I go, I come back to the place you are..." the warmth of holding her in my arms and the lonely nights I've spent since then the moonlit walks, the valentine's flowers that I never had chance to offer the thoughts and dreams to share in years all lost and gone in an instant a forever to fill with our love, all gone in one short day the future that burned so bright in your eyes, to become my tortured past... "what is this thing that fills our dreams, yet slips away from us..." my eyes open and see the setting sun, then close again and welcome friend Night... "there's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart..." -----brian procopio, febuary, 1994 =========================================================================