Date: Tue, 20 Dec 1994 22:43:29 -0500 Reply-To: Hobert@AOL.COM Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: K Robnett Subject: A DAY AT THE BEACH, Part 4 of 4 -------------------- It was some time before the evil Immortal returned, giving Eddie time to squirm some more. He has almost managed to shake Richie enough to explode the bomb when the door creaked open. The lifeguard looked in terror as the man reached a hand slowly toward his face. With unexpected speed, the tape was ripped off Eddie's face, the pain making him scream until the sound man turned down the volume. "Jesus, that hurts," Eddie yelled, wondering what the madman had in store for the two sidekicks. "Oh man," he tried to say, his lips sticking together when he closed his mouth. "Please let us go. Nobody knows where we are. They'll never find us!" The man chuckled, gesturing to the door. Eddie looked, surprised when the ET camera crew waved back. "Mary Hart's already set up the interview, my helpless captive." "Why... why are you doing this?" Eddie asked, the tinge of hysteria creeping into his voice. "I wasn't even born when you were around." He quickly shut up when the man threatened him with duct tape. "You're starting to whine like your friend," the guest star hissed. "It's enough that your captain has stolen everything that was to be mine, especially after 'Back to the Beach" came out. But noooo," he intoned, dancing around the room, "your boss had already started this little show." Suddenly he whirled at Richie, sending the redhead squirming, the bomb beeping menacingly. "I even managed to get it canceled off of NBC, and then look what that brainless beefcake does! He takes it to syndication! Why, I..." "Warning. Intruder Alert, Section 27," intoned Majel Barrett's voice. "Damn!" the bad guys spat. "They're early." He quickly flipped a switch on the bomb taped to Richie's chest, sending the beeps up a fifth, and twice as fast. With a whirl, he sped from the room, leaving the *** WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A FOX NEWS UPDATE. *** "Hello, I'm John Wallace. Moments ago, on Days of Our Lives, it was revealed that Gina is not _really_ Hope, but just another brainwashed victim of the DiMera family. This makes the fourth time in the last two decades that the Brady family has been fooled by a cheap impostor. We go LIVE now, to correspondent Nancy Francis, standing by with Caroline Brady at the Brady Pub set." "Well, Nancy. She just seemed so nice, and Alice was truly convinced she was her grand-daughter Hope. Or is she her great-grand-daughter? Anyway, it's really difficult to tell the two apart, what with Kristian playing both parts. Not at the same time, mind you, because that takes a lot of special effects and money we can't spend right now, but since Hope was last seen in a bird cage, dangling over the pit of acid in the hologram before everything exploded, sending her and that horrible Alamain character to their deaths. No, not Lawrence, he wasn't really that bad, well, except to my son, Bo. Actually, both of them..." *** THIS HAS BEEN A FOX NEWS UPDATE. WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING, ALREADY IN PROGRESS. *** "...So, my helpless victims, that's why you all must die!" the bad guy finished, waving Duncan's katana and chuckling as both Mitch and Duncan joined Eddie and Richie in their struggles against the seemingly endless supply of white nylon rope, chairs, and duct tape this guy had. "You won't get away with it!" Mitch countered, already trying to cut his way free using the red flotation can. Duncan was busy too, searching his magic pocket for something that would help. Richie kept fainting every time the bomb beeped, and Eddie was casually flipping the magazine pages with his feet. The evil kidnapper slowly placed the sharp blade against the older lifeguard's neck, reveling in the emotions in the room. Suddenly, Shawnee and Ann burst through the unlocked door, freezing in shock when they saw the situation. "FRANKIE AVALON!" both screamed, before shoving their fists in their mouths and jumping up and down, squealing. The aged surfer whirled, both pleased and apprehensive at their arrival. "Now, my pretties, we'll get down to the fun stuff. Just as soon as I take care of these guys!" Frankie said, twirling his fake mustache. The girls stopped their rabid frenzy, looking very unconcerned. Shawnee looked over at Ann as she calmly asked, "Ready?" With a smile, the trauma surgeon pulled out a garage door opener, showing the guest star. Effortlessly, she pressed the one red button, sending the little device into a beeping fit that put the bomb on Richie to shame. In the excitement, the redhead fainted again. Above, on the roof of the warehouse, the garage door opener activated, the patented screw mechanism jerking the trapdoor open. With nothing to support the carefully balanced lawn chair, it tumbled, sending the ice chest on it plummeting to the warehouse floor, pulling the fishing wire attached to the metal handle through the pulley at dizzying speeds. On the other end of the wire, the opened umbrella dragged the carcass of a freshly landed swordfish across the roof, up the short ramp, until it flew off the building. The two towels tied to its tail kept it from flying too far away, instead it pendulumed back, crashing through the basement window to slice through two support beams and Frankie Avalon's head. "Well done," Duncan said, noticing the other supports were collapsing as well, sending asbestos dust pouring into the room. Shawnee untied Eddie as Ann used a scalpel to free Mitch and Duncan. Around them, the ceiling caved in, adding more dust. "Get his Quickening!" Duncan yelled to the other Immortal. Mitch briefly searched Frankie's decapitated body, grabbing the large cylindrical object. Together the group rushed out of the warehouse, stopping far enough away to safely watch the building finish collapsing. The Highlander looked around, pleased with the ending. "Uh, where's Ol' Coppertop?" he asked, noticing the redhead's stunt double was missing. "You mean this?" Mitch asked, holding up the large Duracell battery he had taken out of Frankie Avalon. Duncan just shook his head in sadness, wishing his headache would go away. Just then, some of the debris moved, followed by a whole section of fake cement wall. Slowly, the injured Richie crawled from the wreckage, two strips of hairless skin on his chest the only proof that a bomb had been strapped to him moments ago. "See, people? No problem!" he said, stumbling over to the group. His hair was a mess, there were black streaks on his face, and small drops of blood dotted his chest where the hair had been ripped out. "Premature my ass," he said, looking at his watch. "That word isn't even in my dictionary," he went on, circling around the two women. "Why, I still had a good ten minutes left..." went the remains of the building, sending fiery rubble shooting into the sky. Small chunks rained down on the group, quickly put out by production assistants armed with fire extinguishers. "Couldn't go the distance, little boy?" Shawnee asked, nuzzling against her well-tested boyfriend. "But-t-t-t I-I n-never..." Richie stuttered, mouth gaping as he checked his watch again. Duncan leaned closed, punching Richie on the chest. "They have exercises for that now, tough guy," he whispered, gathering Ann with his arm, the surgeon trying to find Dr. Ruth's 800 number in her purse. "I thought you trained him on how to use his sword, Duncan?" the older lifeguard asked, sandwiching himself between the two women. "Or is that your usual 'fast draw' technique?" he finished. "T-T-en mi-minutes..." Richie stuttered, suddenly sitting down, the shock overwhelming him. The other five moved on, carefully making their way along the beach, ending up by the water as the sun set behind them. Ann wormed her arm around Duncan's, snuggling next to her future love interest as they walked. Looking up, she noticed him engrossed in the backs of the three lifeguards. Especially the blond lifeguard's pert little derriere. "Don't you think she's a little young for you?" she casually asked, nestling her head against his chest. "At my age, the Mona Lisa is jailbait," he replied. Behind them, finally appearing over the rocks, a lone figure, loaded down with the fish-loaded ice chest, bent lawn chair, soggy umbrella, and used towels stumbled after them, a sad wail drifting over the crashing waves. "GUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSS" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Hi, I'm Lisa Howard. If you have a medical problem, neurosis, mental disorder or psychosis, you CAN get help. Call 1-900-GET-ANN!, and professionally trained assistants, personally selected, will help you get in touch with people that can cure you. Don't let the solutions you need disappear forever. Call now!" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Next time on the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers... Lord Zed decides Richie Ryan would be the perfect leader of his evil fighting squad. Can Duncan keep from beheading the Pink Ranger long enough to rescue him? Will Alpha Five be able to activate the hubris thunderzord? Watch Duncan MacLeod in spandex as the Plaid Ranger on the next exciting episode of the Power Rangers! # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Flames, excuses, barbs, et al to Stu@baywatch.gov.NOT! Job offers to hobert@aol.com This has been a SurfsUp! production. c. 1994 by Life's a Beach, Inc. Any resemblance to actual television shows is purely coincidental and not the intention of the producers. =========================================================================