Date: Tue, 20 Dec 1994 22:44:16 -0500 Reply-To: Hobert@AOL.COM Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: K Robnett Subject: A DAY AT THE BEACH, Part 3 of 4 -------------------------------- "Come right on in," Mitch was saying as he opened the front door to his abode, leading Duncan inside. "Make yourself at home," he added, gesturing at the huge living room. "I'll go upstairs and get the Horse." Duncan sat on a sofa as the lifeguard climbed the stairs. From the other side of the kitchen, a young boy, almost twelve, entered, surprised to see a strange man in the den. Suddenly alarms went off, sirens blared, and the Power Rangers teleported in. Quickly, they ran up the boy, asking him if he remembered what to do in this situation, all the while making funny gestures with their arms. Hobie shook his head yes. "Rule One," the kid spouted from rote, "get out of the house and go to the neighbors. Rule Two, call the police. Rule Three, if he comes after you, mace him in the face, kick him in the crotch, and poke his eyes out." "Good work, Hobie," the Red Ranger exclaimed, changing poses with each word. The whole group gave each other high fives while congratulating themselves, their helmeted heads bobbing up and down. During all this, Mitch came back down, holding the statue. He took one look at the bunch in the kitchen and sighed. "Hobie," the lifeguard said, a dejected tone in his voice. "What have I told you about having friends over? Let them wait outside." Hobie ushered the six Rangers out the front door as Mitch strode into the den, placing the heavy statue on the coffee table. "Here you go, Mac. One horse." Duncan leaned forward, eager to get his hands on the piece. "Do you have the papers?" he asked, intently examining it. "Darn," Mitch exclaimed. "I left them upstairs. Be right back." With gusto, the lifeguard ran up the stairs two at a time. While he was gone, Duncan moved the statue around, touching the wood. During this time, he felt... watched. Turning his head suddenly, he came face to face with Hobie. "Do they have kids where you come from?" Hobie suddenly asked, dropping several lines of dialogue. Duncan waited for the director to yell cut, but when minutes went by, he took a deep breath, plowing ahead. "No. We have something worse. Watchers." "Oh," the child simply said, continuing to stare. Duncan stared back, wondering when the scene was going to end. The hairs on the back of his neck rose, as a suspicious thought crept its way into his head. With blinding speed, the Highlander grabbed Hobie's wrist, turning it into the light. There as plain as day was the blue tattoo all the Watchers wore. Duncan said a word that got edited, dragging the boy over the sofa as he roughly grabbed him by the neck with a muscled hand. "Who are you, really? Where did you get that? Are you watching me?" Hobie fervently wished the Power Rangers would morph right on in and save the day like they always do. Trying to breathe, the boy gasped, "Some guy on the beach was selling these stamps, see?" With effort, he pulled a rubber stamp from his pocket, shoving it into Duncan's face. "Like a gang, see?" When the Immortal let up, the boy ran from the room, trying to find the Power Rangers in the garage. Mitch came down the stairs in time to see Hobie speed out. "What's with him?" the lifeguard asked Duncan, handing him a stack of papers at the same time. "I dunno," Duncan answered, rifling through the documents after tossing the stamp over his shoulder. "I love kids, really," he added, deciding that the statue was the genuine article. "Well, I'm satisfied." The Highlander stood, turning to Mitch. They shook hands as Duncan said, "I'll wire the money into your account this afternoon. If you have a checking account, that is." Mitch smiled. "Ha, ha, smarty. I see why you have to work in Canada. Now that you're satisfied, I need to get back to headquarters. We've been having reports of shark attacks all morning. If you're not busy, how about a little sparring?" -------------------------------- "Don't worry, MacLeod," Mitch said as he ushered the antique dealer into a dark, deserted room on the first floor of Baywatch headquarters. "This is our filing room." Duncan gazed around the bare area, empty except for the light fixture hanging from the ceiling. "What, you think we do paperwork?" the lifeguard asked incredulously at Duncan's unvoiced question. "Sorry. I did think being able to read and write was a requirement for the job," Duncan replied, his goofy grin belying his sarcasm. Without preamble, he drew his katana, taking a few practice swings in the dusty air. His grin vanished when he saw Mitch calmly standing with only his red flotation can. "Hey, I thought you wanted to spar. Draw your sword and let's get going." "That's fine, I don't think I'm really going to need it," Mitch deadpanned, starting with a roundhouse using his trusty flotation device. Duncan easily ducked, only to connect with Mitch's foot, sending the Highlander sprawling backwards. Mitch just stood and laughed, tossing the red can in the air as Duncan picked himself up. With one hand, the Highlander tested his jaw, glad nothing had shattered. Looking determined, he posed in a frightful position, sword raised high, light glinting off the blade. "If that's the way you want it, hot shot. Don't be surprised if I ram that thing down your throat." With a primeval scream, the Highlander charged, katana swinging down... ...only to be stopped cold by the cheap-looking plastic can. Mitch chuckled at Duncan's look of surprise. "Space-age polymers. Fruitcake. And steel-reinforced plexiglass," he said, tossing the blade up and then ramming the can into Duncan's unprotected stomach. Duncan dropped like a rock. "Ease up, guy," Duncan gasped from the floor, holding his aching gut. "I'm always the best fighter..." Mitch grinned. "You're on MY show, now, monkeyboy. And I'm the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER !!!!" With that utterance, the lifeguard raised the red can over the helpless Duncan, ready to bring it crashing down on the cringing... "Wait a minute," Duncan said, interrupting Mitch's unscripted fantasy sequence. "How in the world do you behead somebody with that thing?" He asked, pointing at the smooth, teardropped shape item. The lifeguard stopped, taking another moment to examine it. Mitch turned it this way and that way, did you ever see a lassie go... ah, Mitch looked at it. "I don't know," he finally said, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. "But I bet it isn't pretty," he added after a moment. "Hell, I didn't know I was an Immortal until we did pre-production on this show." Both men stood, aware that the momentum of the fight had slithered off. Just when it looked like they'd have to do another take, the door burst open, and two females ran into the room. "They've got Eddie," Shawnee announced, breathing heavy after her jog across the beach. "And Richie, too," she added, momentarily forgetting this was a crossover. Mitch looked concerned, but Duncan only stared at the other woman in the room. "What are you doing here?" the Highlander asked, confusingly pointing at the spiffily dressed Ann Lindsey. She turned to look behind her, wondering who Duncan was referring to. Finding no one, she turned back, looking innocent and amazed as she pointed to herself. "Yes, you!" Duncan added. "Well..." she began, stretching the one syllable to twenty seconds as she clasped her hands together. "Alexandra wanted to go back to Paris, I'm Canadian, and Linda Carter already had a series..." She finished by cocking her head and batting her eyelashes at him as she coyly smiled. Mitch meanwhile was in heated discussion with Shawnee. "How do you know they've been kidnapped? This is your day off." The older lifeguard gestured at Ann as he continued. "What happened to Miss Noel? And where did you find that one? She looks like a beanpole that got dragged through the new wave department at Dillards!" Shawnee just looked distraught, unable to say anything. "Well?" Mitch finally asked in the silence. "Uh, what was the question?" Shawnee asked. Ann walked over to the young blond, offering a word of comfort and a quick hug, all the while glaring balefully at the older lifeguard. Mitch fumed, mentally picturing Shawnee having a bizarre fatal accident in the season finale. One involving a falling 747. "HOW do you know that RICHIE and EDDIE were KIDNAPPED?" he yelled, wondering what sin had brought all this torment to him. Shawnee turned red, nervously clasping and unclasping her hands. "Well. I sorta was following them. Richie, I mean." The looks of recrimination from the two men broke her resistance. "All right! I was stalking Richie," she finally blurted, her lycra bathing suit almost unable to stand the stress. "He's such a stud muffin, and Eddie would get jealous..." Ann cooed soothingly, rubbing Shawnee's bare arms. "That O.K., honey. Here," she said, reaching into her purse and pulling out a card, handing it to the blond. "I have a friend who can help you with that. Give him a call later." "Well, that's it," Duncan said, sheathing his katana. Slapping Mitch on the shoulder, he announced, "Let's go rescue them!" As the foursome sped out the door, following Shawnee, Ann rummaged in her purse, looking for another card. "I know someone that can help..." she yelled, her voice fading as they ran down the hall. -------------------------------- "Oh, man," Richie said, struggling against the tight ropes. "I knew I shouldn't have listened to Mac." The redhead had awakened from the knockout gas, only to find himself tied to a wooden chair. Eddie stirred soon after, similarly restrained. Now both sidekicks were furiously trying to escape, knowing it was futile. They were always the ones being rescued. "I wished the bad guys wouldn't tie the knots so tight," Eddie commented, wiggling from side to side. "This job isn't supposed to hurt." The camera panned over his body, killing time before the next commercial break. Richie finally lost patience with his comrade. "Have you ever watched yourself on TV? Now THAT hurts!" he yelled, wishing he could pull a sword out of thin air. Eddie's reply was lost in the loud noise of the door lock squeaking. That was followed by the ominous creaking of the door slowly swinging open. Into the room stepped a man, his face lost in the shadows. "I see you both are awake," he said, wringing his hands evilly. "Just as well, my plans depend on your _undivided_ attention. Now, which one of you is the lifeguard, and which is the expendable hostage?" Without a beat, both young men answered, "HIM!!" while wiggling in their bonds. The spectacle brought a laugh to the man's lips. He walked around the room, circling the guys, his face always in darkness. "It would go much better on you two if you cooperate. I want to know which one Mitch Buchanan is going to rescue. Is it you?" he asked, turning Eddie's head to face him. For a brief moment, the lifeguard got a glimpse of his captor's face. "You?" Eddie asked, redoubling his efforts to free himself. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be..." His voice was silenced as the mysterious man gagged him with duct tape. Once Eddie was reduced to mumbles, the man walked to Richie. "So you must be the expendable one..." the man said, also gagging Richie with the tape. Once that was done, he left the room, only to return with a powerful looking bomb, which he taped to Richie's chest. The redhead yelled, struggling even more until the man grabbed his chin. "If you wiggle too much, this might go off prematurely." Richie's eyes grew wide. "You do know what 'going off prematurely' means?" the man asked. Richie frantically nodded yes, causing the bomb to beep with his movement. His eyes grew even wider, sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Don't worry," the man added, walking to the door, "I'll be back in a little while." With a flick of his hands, he plunged the room into darkness before shutting and locking the door, leaving the two sidekicks alone, making helpless muffled noises into their gags. -------------------- "Come on, Duncan," Mitch said, grabbing the Highlander's arm to stop him. The four were currently searching the boardwalk, finding nothing. "We've looked along the beach, all the deserted piers, and now here. They've disappeared." Duncan jerked his arm away, almost hitting Ann and Shawnee. "I'm not giving up," he yelled in anger. {Maybe we should have asked Joe before he finished his scenes,} he futilely thought. The two men started arguing, neither noticing the two women sneaking toward the electronics store. "Let's try this one," Ann said, flipping through the channels of a television set. Reaching channel 157 and not finding what she wanted, she turned to Shawnee. "Do you know what channel it comes on?" Shawnee examined her watch, then looked thoughtfully at Ann. "Try 34. It should be on now." With a nod, Ann switched to Channel 34, both women stepping back to watch the screen. John Tesh appeared, sitting behind the ET newsdesk. "Two of the top rated syndicated dramas join forces in tonight's coming attractions." The coming attractions logo swept onto the screen, to be replaced by Baywatch's usual opening. Over the music, John continued. "What do you get when you mix swords and surf? A whole lotta' shakin' going on." A behind-the-scenes shot came on, the scene with Mitch and Duncan in the lifeguard's living room. Someone yelled cut, and the two men started a pillow fight. "This special episode, combining the casts of Baywatch and Highlander: The Series, is an action/adventure lover's delight. It builds to a final, climatic sword fight at the old warehouse on Highway 1, where two of the cast members were being held by the guest star, a wonderful surprise to old movie lovers." A camera zoomed in on the deserted building, the two struggling forms of Eddie and Richie being dragged into a door appearing on the screen. "Baywatch airs in syndication this weekend, so check your local listings." With a click, John was history. Ann and Shawnee rushed out of the store, managing to keep the two leads from beginning a brawl. "We know where they are," Shawnee yelled, taking off for the yellow Scarab speedboat, conveniently left at the end of the pier. Ann followed, the two men bringing up the rear, asking how they had found out. "Trade secret," Shawnee yelled back, starting the ignition. With a roar, the yellow speedboat took off into the sea, sending water spraying in its wake. =========================================================================