Date: Tue, 20 Dec 1994 22:41:49 -0500 Reply-To: Hobert@AOL.COM Sender: Highlander TV show stories From: K Robnett Subject: A DAY AT THE BEACH, Part 1 of 4 *The following is a Highlander/Baywatch crossover. It contains everything commonly found on either of the shows. Remember, you were warned! P.S. - Lifeguards call the red flotation device they use in rescues a 'can'. For more information on life-saving devices, contact your local library. A DAY AT THE BEACH A Highlander/Baywatch Fantasy by Kevi... er, Stu Smith "Maaacccccc..." came the whiny voice from behind. Stopping in the sand, inches away from the pounding LA surf, Duncan MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod, turned, watching his young sidekick, the redheaded Richie Ryan, struggle with the ice chest, umbrella, two towels, and Tessa's new lawn chair. (Try diagraming THAT sentence!) The Highlander immediately lost interest, instead taking a moment to watch his current love partner and artist, Tessa Noel, saunter across the sand behind Richie. For once, she was wearing more than could be stuffed in an envelope. {Only for the near future,} he added, thankful he had gotten a different room... no, make that hotel, for Richie. {It could almost be like...} Duncan was lost in a flashback so intimate, you can't read it without a legal guardian present, when Richie's voice cut through the dry ice fog. "Maaccc, what are we doing here? Why didn't we stay in Seacouver like always?" For a moment, the overburdened youngster looked like the new Power Rangers monster, 'Wal-marta', in lime green OP shorts and thongs. Duncan thought a little bit, selecting a line he had wanted to say since the Indian flashback last year. "I'm here to see a man about a horse," he yelled, a bevy of busty coeds running by on cue and disturbing the peace. {Actually, I wouldn't call it running... More like bouncing up and down while progressing forward,} he thought, distracted by the scenery. The horse in question was an antique statue called 'The Horse', of course. "Besides, a guy can't get a decent tan in Seacouver," he added. "But I burn so easily..." whined Richie, upset that the group of girls ignored him, instead focusing their short attention span on his benefactor. Like always. Plus, the ice chest kept swinging into his limited field of vision. "Now, Richie," began Tessa, coming up behind the young redhead, her French accent as real as the Eiffel Tower. "Nobody except Wardrobe cares about your tan line, so just shut up and put our stuff over there." She waved her hand in the direction of the area set aside for the stars. The loaded redhead shuffled off, leaving the woman with her man. A man that stared at the pounding surf instead of her. "Duncan, what are you thinking?" she inquired, wrapping her arms around him from behind, hoping it wasn't Amanda, or Grace, or Anne, or Linda, or Randi, or... The Highlander sighed. "I was wondering if my paycheck was worth what I'm about to do." From behind the camera, all of the female crew and two of the male crew nodded eagerly, the Pepsi slogan wafting over the gulls. Mary Ann was especially glad she had decided to visit California this week. Tessa squeezed him, whispering breathily in his ear. "Let's get wet," she suggested seductively, tossing her sunglasses and hat to the wind, running in her white one piece outfit to the water. Duncan followed suit, stripping his shirt and running shorts off, joining her in the water. The rock music song intro swelled as Duncan slowly rose from the frothy water, his white speedo clinging to his body. It was the smallest Costuming could find on short notice. Idly, he shook his head, swinging his long, dark hair, sending water droplets lazily flying through the air. The second verse began as Tessa jumped up in the water, laughing, hitting the oversized beach ball back the way it came. Next was a shot of Richie, landing face first in the sand, a volleyball bouncing near his dejected face, knocking sand into his eyes. Then back to Duncan, still in the water up to his knees, languidly reaching up and back, grouping his hair into a ponytail, the beach ball sailing through the air behind him. The second chorus crescendoed as Richie and Tessa merrily splashed each other in the water in slo-mo, Duncan showing up at the song bridge, laughingly forcing Richie's head under the water. From there, the Highlander stumbled through the surf toward Tessa, their lips sucking together like vacuum cleaners. As the song faded, Richie surfaced down the beach, seaweed draped on his head, a flapping mackerel in each hand. The gull's screeches were back as Duncan emerged from the water, walking up the sand to where Tessa stood, miraculously dry, hair done, a good ten yards from the shore. She grinned as he approached. "Hey, baby," she called. "Is that your sword, or are you just happy to see me?" He beamed, opening his mouth to speak his extemporaneous witty comeback line. Around him, the ominous tones and buzz sounded, signaling the approached of another Immortal. It didn't help that the camera suddenly zoomed toward him at blinding speeds. {NOT THE FACE !!!} Swiftly he turned in a circle, trying to spot the Immortal in the crowd at the beach. Hurriedly, and with many contortions, Duncan attempted to pull his katana out of the speedo without cutting off anything important. Whipping out his <<>>... {Oops, put that back in there, MacLeod. You aren't Michael Jackson!} ..ah, sword, the faint cries for help finally reached his ears. Without warning, a lifeguard ran by, knocking over Richie, the warning sound fading as the man dove into the surf. Duncan quickly looked around, noticing more people were looking at his sword than at his... ah, sword. Reversing his earlier dance steps, he somehow managed to cram his katana back into the speedo, to the amazement and awe of Richie and a few dozen beachgoers. Tessa just smiled knowingly. [Magic pocket, indeed,] she thought. Meanwhile, the lifeguard used powerful strokes to reach the person yelling for help. The injured swimmer waved his arms when he wasn't underwater, allowing the lifeguard to spot him in the treacherous waves. Grabbing him forcefully by the neck, shoving a useless red flotation thingy at him, the lifeguard paddled to shore, taking a third less time to get back than it took to reach him. They made it to the beach in time to be surrounded by a handful of other lifeguards, each trying to look busy and helpful. By the time the swimmer was loaded on the yellow rescue truck, and the other lifeguards went back to wherever they came from, the man had a chance to survey the crowd. Wavy, dark hair lay plastered to his head, the aged eyes peering through the thong... ah, THRONG of people. An eye that had seen many people, in many places. Not quite young (over-the-hill) anymore, his semi-firm (Stairmaster) body rippled (the shakes) with energy (pills), especially during his close-ups. Oh, the life at Baywatch. He too had felt the warning, heard the music, almost got his eye gouged by a careening camera lens. It didn't take long to zero in on the trio sitting in the sand. The older man lay back on his elbows, wearing what had to be a handkerchief. The lady on the lawn chair next to him wasn't bad looking, but didn't have much in the bust department, compared to what was bobbing around here. The youngster on the end sported red hair and purple SP 100 on his nose, not to mention lime green shorts, the whole outfit screaming 'SIDEKICK'. Ignoring the loser, and deciding the woman wouldn't cut it as a series lead, he re-evaluated the first guy. Strong, good looking, fan club; this was the Immortal he felt. Walking up the beach to them, the lifeguard purposely blocked the sun from the other Immortal. "Duncan MacLeod?" he asked. The Highlander pulled his shades down, raking the area for laser beams before glancing out over them at the lifeguard. "Mr. Buchanan?" he asked in reply, surprised that an Immortal would want to spend eternity doing this. The lifeguard nodded yes, holding out his hand. "My friends call me 'Mitch'" he said, pulling the Highlander up. "And by the way," he added. "I've only been doing this since I lost my car." FADE... (Ascending notes in a chord) Duhh, Duhh, Duuuuhhh. (DRUMS) da, da, da, da.... da, da, da, da. (Joe Dawson, in serious tone) Some people stay in the Darkness... afraid to step into the Light. Some people need to help somebody when the edge of surrender's in sight. Don't you worry. It's gonna be all right, 'cause I'm always there, I won't let you out of my sight. (Queen, four part a capella harmony) I'll be there... Don't ever fear... I'll be there... (Joe again) Forever and always, I'm always here.... (Spastic Piano Break, then repeat chorus) =========================================================================